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Best way is to wait and see what circumstances bring. It is an experience that makes your strengths and weaknesses clear as day. The big one is sleep. A book o

by jwdunne 10y ago

Best way is to wait and see what circumstances bring. It is an experience that makes your strengths and weaknesses clear as day. The big one is sleep. A book on sleeping routines usually always help everyone. The contented baby handbook is a good one. The problem with reading books before hand is that a lot preach to an unrealistic ideal. You will find what works best for you, your partner and baby afterwards. It's the only way.

jon-wood 10y ago
I'd second this, reading books on raising children I found made me feel a bit of a failure until I got over the fact every child is different. In our case the particular thing that really got to me was that I was all ready for baby led weaning, with our son eating proper food as he felt, but he was completely uninterested in food. Years later we've finally got to the bottom of it and found he has food allergies which put him off trying new foods because so many gave him horrible stomach pain. Having now accepted that I also accept that I'm not in fact a failure of a parent if all he wants to eat today is chicken nuggets and chips, and that we're making progress in helping him to try new things. Don't subject yourself to ridiculous expectations, learn the basics, and then take solace that at least for the first few months if everyone is fed, clean, and clothed then you're winning.
- romuloab42 10y ago
  That's completely true. I think the most revealing thing about being a first-time parent, is that all children are different. The art of being a parent is to learn from your child, and to adapt accordingly. It is also worth mentioning that each kid learn in its own pace, so don't sweat if he/she isn't, say, walking within one year, or speaking phrases with 2.
  - jwdunne 10y ago
    Of course, we say don't sweat it. Most likely will. I did the second time: "oh god, Lilly seems well behind Maggie" to now: "wow Lilly is a touch ahead of Maggie now". The other thing you will sweat is the newborn stage. You will try your hardest to get them to sleep only to panic because they are quiet, waking them up in your efforts to make sure. One thing I do know: I changed the day my first child was born. What used to matter to me, things at work that bothered me, do not matter as much anymore. How can it? The most precious and beautiful thing is your child and all the damn hair they make you tear out!
jlengrand 10y ago
I have to agree with this one. I became a father last September, and I took it on myself to basically not read anything before hand. This is not work, and I believed in "feeling things" rather than learning them beforehand like I would for software. Turns out for me it worked perfectly, maybe because I was more in listening mode rather than trying to apply things I read in books. In any case, I would advise to just trust your guts. If you feel like you want to know a lot, just read! Congrats in advance, and enjoy the first months as much as you can! Becoming a parent is the best thing that can happen to you :)

by jwdunne 10y ago

jon-wood 10y ago

I'd second this, reading books on raising children I found made me feel a bit of a failure until I got over the fact every child is different. In our case the particular thing that really got to me was that I was all ready for baby led weaning, with our son eating proper food as he felt, but he was completely uninterested in food. Years later we've finally got to the bottom of it and found he has food allergies which put him off trying new foods because so many gave him horrible stomach pain. Having now accepted that I also accept that I'm not in fact a failure of a parent if all he wants to eat today is chicken nuggets and chips, and that we're making progress in helping him to try new things. Don't subject yourself to ridiculous expectations, learn the basics, and then take solace that at least for the first few months if everyone is fed, clean, and clothed then you're winning.

romuloab42 10y ago
That's completely true. I think the most revealing thing about being a first-time parent, is that all children are different. The art of being a parent is to learn from your child, and to adapt accordingly. It is also worth mentioning that each kid learn in its own pace, so don't sweat if he/she isn't, say, walking within one year, or speaking phrases with 2.
- jwdunne 10y ago
  Of course, we say don't sweat it. Most likely will. I did the second time: "oh god, Lilly seems well behind Maggie" to now: "wow Lilly is a touch ahead of Maggie now". The other thing you will sweat is the newborn stage. You will try your hardest to get them to sleep only to panic because they are quiet, waking them up in your efforts to make sure. One thing I do know: I changed the day my first child was born. What used to matter to me, things at work that bothered me, do not matter as much anymore. How can it? The most precious and beautiful thing is your child and all the damn hair they make you tear out!

jlengrand 10y ago

I have to agree with this one. I became a father last September, and I took it on myself to basically not read anything before hand. This is not work, and I believed in "feeling things" rather than learning them beforehand like I would for software. Turns out for me it worked perfectly, maybe because I was more in listening mode rather than trying to apply things I read in books. In any case, I would advise to just trust your guts. If you feel like you want to know a lot, just read! Congrats in advance, and enjoy the first months as much as you can! Becoming a parent is the best thing that can happen to you :)