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The way I see it here is that your personal life revolves around two things, yourself and other people that you care about deeply. If you're single, this could
by vinceguidry 10y ago
The way I see it here is that your personal life revolves around two things, yourself and other people that you care about deeply. If you're single, this could mean your best friends.
Obviously you want a working marriage. But marriages, just like startups and side projects, take work. You need to hack on the marriage just like you might hack on the business. But you should never take the business more seriously than the marriage. The business exists to serve your needs, not the other way around.
How to hack your marriage is outside the scope of the discussion. But I believe they can be worked on so that they get better. Heck, I think a lot of the problems in marriages can be boiled down to the wife believing, with good reason, that the husband considers his job to be more important to him than she is. So this reprioritization alone can fix a lot of personal problems.
- mirimir 10y agoI get that. But marriage isn't necessarily a binary thing. And all women don't have the priorities that you seem to assume.
- vinceguidry 10y agoSure, everyone's different. But find me a woman who would honestly be ok with playing second fiddle to your career, and I'll show you a woman who just doesn't value herself. Just because they'll accept it for the sake of the relationship doesn't mean they'll like it. The relationship is going to suffer and you both are going to suffer for it. Just because you don't perceive yourself as suffering doesn't mean you're not. You just won't be aware of it. If it gets too bad, you'll wake up one day and find divorce papers on your kitchen table. Think about what President Trump's marriage must be like in terms of priorities. Sure, people are different, marriages are different, but there's also an ideal to work towards. Marriage needs to fit the needs of both people, but it's not like people all have weird crazy different needs.
- mirimir 10y agoYou're still missing my point. There are women who are honestly OK with "playing second fiddle" to their partners' careers. But they're also more committed to their own careers (or whatever) than to relationships.
- nogenerix 10y agoDefinitely interested in learning about marriage hacks to implement if the right woman ever comes into my life. I'd like to master the yin yang of balancing flow versus scalable marriage.
- vinceguidry 10y agoI write on Quora on the topic. You can follow me here: https://www.quora.com/profile/Vincent-Guidry-1 https://www.quora.com/profile/Vincent-Guidry-1 Attracting a mate boils down to two things, building yourself up and putting yourself out there. Keeping them around boils down to being emotionally mature. I usually follow my followers, that allows private messages, so you can message me there if you need help.