4 ms·

I want to use this message thread to tell a story and make a point. If it is off-point, delete it, give it negative votes, whatever. I had abdominal surgery.

I want to use this message thread to tell a story and make a point. If it is off-point, delete it, give it negative votes, whatever. I had abdominal surgery. They had to remove 14cm of my colon which was badly inflamed due to diverticulitis. When I woke up, I was so doped up that I felt no pain. I even danced a jig in my room. That evening they hooked me up to a hydromorphone injector for the inevitable pain. Every 12 minutes or so, I could give myself a shot into my IV. Hydromorphone is about 100 times stronger than morphine, so the doses were in micrograms. I was allowed, like, 5 shots per hour, and the machine could get loaded with about 50 shots. I kept a record of the shots in my Iphone Notes. I tried to space them further than 12 minutes, but I only decreased the frequency by a few minutes. I liked those shots. They worked. The nursing staff encouraged me to use this. They could reload the machine, no trouble. Now the thing about colon surgery is, your colon has to get working. Those opiate shots very effectively prevent this. I wanted to get out of that place. So the next night, I quit cold turkey. I was freezing cold, and the pain I felt was not just from the after effects of the surgery, I am pretty sure. It was fucking horrible. Now the things is, I was addicted. I did succeed in quitting cold turkey. My colon still didn't work for a day, so I vomited almost a gallon of green bile over the edge of my gurney. It was so much, it lapped up against the walls. Then my colon worked, and I got to go home. But I was addicted, and I am a recovering addict, from that one time. And every nurse I mention this to says, "Oh no, you weren't an addict." They even quote some bullshit criterion for addiction, which I've forgotten. I haven't had any problems since, and if I have to take oral oxycodone, or hydrocodone, there have been no problems or instance of abuse. But I was an addict.

rodionos 10y ago
Thank you for sharing this.
coleifer 10y ago
I don't think you know what you're talking about. For how many weeks were you on the medication? For how long were you in withdrawal? Heroin, hydromorphone, oxycodone, etc the withdrawal lasts 5-7 days. Were you in withdrawal for that long? I guess the point I'm trying to make is that most addicts are on much higher doses for much longer periods of time -- and the withdrawal is insane. Furthermore, there's a big difference between physical and psychological addiction. If there weren't, then everyone who takes prescribed pain meds for any length of time would be "an addict" because they'll experience a degree of withdrawal. If you identify as a drug addict, that's fine (though I certainly hope you aren't one!). IV Hydromorphone is also, by the way, 5x stronger than IV morphine. Granted, that's a lot, but nowhere near 100x!
- hirsin 10y ago
  Personally speaking I was on hydromorphone (orally) for a shattered ankle, and just 72 hours of taking it (at 66% max dose) was enough. Dropping from 2 pills to 1 caused some withdrawal symptoms, and 1 to 0 definitely caused nausea and insomnia. The surgeon nodded when he heard about this and said yep, that's expected. It's addictive over that short a timespan.
  - agjacobson 10y ago
    Thanks. I'm indeed not crazy.
- agjacobson 10y ago
  Your last sentence is correct, I made a mistake. The rest of what you said kind of supplements my post. One evening of self-medication was enough for to me, a formerly non-opiate addicted person, to experience extremely unpleasant withdrawal symptoms. In a person not particularly susceptible to addiction. Your eagerness to debate me about whether I was addicted mirrors the behavior of those nurses.
  - coleifer 10y ago
    I confused you by making two points in one comment. The first was that you had a whiff of withdrawal, but only a whiff. Its disingenuous to compare yourself to the daughter in this article. The second was that physical addiction is very different from psychological addiction. Psychological addiction, for opiate addicts, is reinforced by physical withdrawal, not the other way around.
e1g 10y ago
Thanks for sharing your story. I think addiction, like depression or war, can segment life into "before" and "after" periods. Before you experience it, you have valid and interesting ideas. After you go through it, however briefly, you become humbled and scared by how you can be controlled by an ugly force, even as you fight it with the most focused energy of your life. After that, the dictatorial "I have been sober for x" makes visceral sense, and you never ever think to suggest "just one to celebrate this special occasion?" "It could never happen to me", and then it does. You find your siren, and often it's not even a drug.
crestedtazo 10y ago
People like you who throw the word "addict" around willy-nilly like that have no idea what addiction truly means. You got sick once and now you march around proclaiming "I was an addict", despite the opinions of nearly every medical professional you've discussed it with? Get over yourself, man. You aren't as important as you clearly think you are...
tominous 10y ago
I just want to add another story, albeit second hand. My wife went through surgery three times. The first times, pain relief (after the initial nerve block) was mainly via a Norspan patch. The patch was great except it took so long to ramp up (maybe they should have applied it 12-24 hours before the nerve block wore off). There was also no real withdrawal even after two weeks of patches. The third time (for chest surgery) was via a fentanyl pump, but when that was removed she had severe stomach pains, and soon was in the routine of IV morphine once a day as the stomach pains came back like clockwork. She had the option of coming home but was too frightened of the pain and not having a nurse nearby to help immediately. I could be wrong but it seemed to me the stomach pains were withdrawal from the painkillers. I'm glad they were effective for her pain but I wish there had been a better path that avoided all the nausea and sleepiness.

rodionos 10y ago

Thank you for sharing this.

coleifer 10y ago

I don't think you know what you're talking about. For how many weeks were you on the medication? For how long were you in withdrawal? Heroin, hydromorphone, oxycodone, etc the withdrawal lasts 5-7 days. Were you in withdrawal for that long? I guess the point I'm trying to make is that most addicts are on much higher doses for much longer periods of time -- and the withdrawal is insane. Furthermore, there's a big difference between physical and psychological addiction. If there weren't, then everyone who takes prescribed pain meds for any length of time would be "an addict" because they'll experience a degree of withdrawal. If you identify as a drug addict, that's fine (though I certainly hope you aren't one!). IV Hydromorphone is also, by the way, 5x stronger than IV morphine. Granted, that's a lot, but nowhere near 100x!

hirsin 10y ago
Personally speaking I was on hydromorphone (orally) for a shattered ankle, and just 72 hours of taking it (at 66% max dose) was enough. Dropping from 2 pills to 1 caused some withdrawal symptoms, and 1 to 0 definitely caused nausea and insomnia. The surgeon nodded when he heard about this and said yep, that's expected. It's addictive over that short a timespan.
- agjacobson 10y ago
  Thanks. I'm indeed not crazy.
agjacobson 10y ago
Your last sentence is correct, I made a mistake. The rest of what you said kind of supplements my post. One evening of self-medication was enough for to me, a formerly non-opiate addicted person, to experience extremely unpleasant withdrawal symptoms. In a person not particularly susceptible to addiction. Your eagerness to debate me about whether I was addicted mirrors the behavior of those nurses.
- coleifer 10y ago
  I confused you by making two points in one comment. The first was that you had a whiff of withdrawal, but only a whiff. Its disingenuous to compare yourself to the daughter in this article. The second was that physical addiction is very different from psychological addiction. Psychological addiction, for opiate addicts, is reinforced by physical withdrawal, not the other way around.

e1g 10y ago

Thanks for sharing your story. I think addiction, like depression or war, can segment life into "before" and "after" periods. Before you experience it, you have valid and interesting ideas. After you go through it, however briefly, you become humbled and scared by how you can be controlled by an ugly force, even as you fight it with the most focused energy of your life. After that, the dictatorial "I have been sober for x" makes visceral sense, and you never ever think to suggest "just one to celebrate this special occasion?" "It could never happen to me", and then it does. You find your siren, and often it's not even a drug.

crestedtazo 10y ago

People like you who throw the word "addict" around willy-nilly like that have no idea what addiction truly means. You got sick once and now you march around proclaiming "I was an addict", despite the opinions of nearly every medical professional you've discussed it with? Get over yourself, man. You aren't as important as you clearly think you are...

tominous 10y ago

I just want to add another story, albeit second hand. My wife went through surgery three times. The first times, pain relief (after the initial nerve block) was mainly via a Norspan patch. The patch was great except it took so long to ramp up (maybe they should have applied it 12-24 hours before the nerve block wore off). There was also no real withdrawal even after two weeks of patches. The third time (for chest surgery) was via a fentanyl pump, but when that was removed she had severe stomach pains, and soon was in the routine of IV morphine once a day as the stomach pains came back like clockwork. She had the option of coming home but was too frightened of the pain and not having a nurse nearby to help immediately. I could be wrong but it seemed to me the stomach pains were withdrawal from the painkillers. I'm glad they were effective for her pain but I wish there had been a better path that avoided all the nausea and sleepiness.