5 ms·

There's also a trend of men 'going their own way'. There doesn't seem to be a female equivalent yet. I wonder why this is not studied in more detail. And it see

by return0 10y ago

There's also a trend of men 'going their own way'. There doesn't seem to be a female equivalent yet. I wonder why this is not studied in more detail. And it seems the latest generations have a very pragmatic/utilitarian view of sexual relationships - to the point where it loses its magic. From a cost/benefit viewpoint, can't blame them.

sanswork 10y ago
Wouldn't the female equivalent be cat ladies? Having looked in on a few of the communities like gtow and incels and such they don't seem very pragmatic. They seem unsociable, rejected and angry and instead of trying to improve on interpersonal relationship abilities or personal value they are giving up. "incels" admit to giving up, gtow claim they don't need women then spend all day sitting around talking about how happy they are without them. >From a cost/benefit viewpoint Trying to fit relationships into a cost/benefit viewpoint is why most of these people will always fail at relationships. You can't get the full benefit of a relationship until it is fully developed and you can't fully develop a relationship if you're in it for a positive ROI.
dakroot 10y ago
Female here! I "went my own way" about three years ago...and it's awesome! I'm not a cat lady either...can't stand the things. I won't deny radical Libertarianism had a lot to do with this decision, but it's basically this: if you find someone you adore, spend time with them. Have sex with them if you feel like it. If you guys don't make each other happy at some point, do some solo traveling. Spend time contemplating alone. Hang out with different people. Then, come back together. It's incredible how much new, interesting shit you'll have to talk about when you live this way. You may fall in love with each other all over again. I don't know if it's true that we "don't know how to relationship" anymore, rather, we're relationship-ing in a way that doesn't serve modern society/reality/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Cheers!
- sanswork 10y ago
  It doesn't sound like you went your own way at all since in your second paragraph you discuss getting involved in romantic relationships and love and doing things to improve those relationships. The fact that you're willing to break them off quickly when not happy isn't changing what you're apparently seeking only how much effort you're apparently willing to put into dealing with low points.
- nojvek 10y ago
  Average life expectancy a couple of hundred years ago was 40. Marriage kind of made sense. Now it's double that and soon we might end up tripling it. My grandmother and her great grand daughter are both alive. When humans live that long, having the liberty to change partners is refreshing. Like having another sub-life.
  - taylodl 10y ago
    Yes, average life expectancy was dramatically lower than now but that's because of childhood diseases. Generally, if you made it to your 20s you'd make it to your 60's. But boy did all those children dying wreck the average life expectancy calculation!
    - sanswork 10y ago
      Sapians talks a bit about how bad it was. King Edward I of England who would have had access to the best care of the time had 11 out of his 20 kids die in childhood.

by return0 10y ago

sanswork 10y ago

Wouldn't the female equivalent be cat ladies? Having looked in on a few of the communities like gtow and incels and such they don't seem very pragmatic. They seem unsociable, rejected and angry and instead of trying to improve on interpersonal relationship abilities or personal value they are giving up. "incels" admit to giving up, gtow claim they don't need women then spend all day sitting around talking about how happy they are without them. >From a cost/benefit viewpoint Trying to fit relationships into a cost/benefit viewpoint is why most of these people will always fail at relationships. You can't get the full benefit of a relationship until it is fully developed and you can't fully develop a relationship if you're in it for a positive ROI.

dakroot 10y ago

Female here! I "went my own way" about three years ago...and it's awesome! I'm not a cat lady either...can't stand the things. I won't deny radical Libertarianism had a lot to do with this decision, but it's basically this: if you find someone you adore, spend time with them. Have sex with them if you feel like it. If you guys don't make each other happy at some point, do some solo traveling. Spend time contemplating alone. Hang out with different people. Then, come back together. It's incredible how much new, interesting shit you'll have to talk about when you live this way. You may fall in love with each other all over again. I don't know if it's true that we "don't know how to relationship" anymore, rather, we're relationship-ing in a way that doesn't serve modern society/reality/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Cheers!

sanswork 10y ago
It doesn't sound like you went your own way at all since in your second paragraph you discuss getting involved in romantic relationships and love and doing things to improve those relationships. The fact that you're willing to break them off quickly when not happy isn't changing what you're apparently seeking only how much effort you're apparently willing to put into dealing with low points.
nojvek 10y ago
Average life expectancy a couple of hundred years ago was 40. Marriage kind of made sense. Now it's double that and soon we might end up tripling it. My grandmother and her great grand daughter are both alive. When humans live that long, having the liberty to change partners is refreshing. Like having another sub-life.
- taylodl 10y ago
  Yes, average life expectancy was dramatically lower than now but that's because of childhood diseases. Generally, if you made it to your 20s you'd make it to your 60's. But boy did all those children dying wreck the average life expectancy calculation!
  - sanswork 10y ago
    Sapians talks a bit about how bad it was. King Edward I of England who would have had access to the best care of the time had 11 out of his 20 kids die in childhood.