Ignoring the article and its questionable nature, I would like to take this as an opportunity to assist hopeful readers, who were attracted by the headline, by

Ignoring the article and its questionable nature, I would like to take this as an opportunity to assist hopeful readers, who were attracted by the headline, by recommending research into Kratom, for those with no other recourse. While there is (ironically) little in the way of published literature, there are a number of communities (e.g. reddit.com/r/kratom) which espouse the seeming safety and utility of the mildly psychoactive plant. The consistent claims (as with any anecdote, trust at your own risk) are that the leaf is mildly addictive, seemingly safe, with a manageable withdrawal, yet extremely effective for pain and anxiety. I have personally used it for headaches/migraines, anxiety, and depressive symptoms, and I think it is tragic that the DEA attempted a ban. Note as there is a mild but unmistakable opiate-like high associated with use, although it does not appear to significantly impair cognitive function, particularly when the alternative is performance with pain and/or anxiety.