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In my marriage, I bring home the bacon with a small SaaS and the wife is in graduate school. We split the raising of our child 50-50. I like it just fine. She
by thrownblown 10y ago
In my marriage, I bring home the bacon with a small SaaS and the wife is in graduate school. We split the raising of our child 50-50.
I like it just fine.
She doesn't.
She's admittedly jealous of how much time I spend with my son, she resents having to continue on her career path and not being able to be a stay-t-home mom. She doesn't understand why I would rather raise my son than work a real programming job.
We are getting divorced.
- rudrigu 10y agoPerhaps a few decades from now, saner people will arrive at the realization that a woman's first career should be motherhood. A woman's best years should be for her children, not her employer.
- deleted 10y ago[deleted]
- xapata 10y agoAnd men should tend the land. It brings character to labor physically. These sissys who have no callouses don't know what real work is. Living in artificial, concrete cages, people have lost touch with reality! Oh wait, no. Tending the land is for women. Men should be out hunting. /parody
- rudrigu 10y agoLaugh all you want. Your kind is being outbred.
- xapata 10y agoI only laugh at tragedy.
- rudrigu 10y agoThen laugh at the tragedy of your impending genetic extinction.
- dang 10y agoOk, we asked you to stop and you didn't so we've banned you.
- thrownblown 10y agoI'm kinda curious what they said.
- emiliobumachar 10y agoI think we should strive for something along the lines of each woman choosing for herself.
- rudrigu 10y agoSure, provided that the long-term consequences of her actions are carefully discussed.
- dang 10y agoAt this point you're trolling. Please stop.
- emiliobumachar 10y agoSorry to hear you're about to get a divorce. Here's some unsolicited, opinionated advice from my position of ignorance, take it with a grain of salt: If she wants to stay at home, let her. But make it clear you're happy with your job as is, and wants to be part of your child's life. Find some not-childcare-related housework that she can take off your hands to keep things fair. Preferably something you don't like anyway.
- thrownblown 10y agoObviously there's more to it than just the home/work life. But that's a big part. I would be AOK with "letting" her stay home, although there's no letting this woman do anything, she does everything for herself just fine, thanks. She decided that she needed to continue her career to achieve her life goals of owning a home, paying for our child's college, those sorts of things. TBH she's probably right, I'm a bit more "anarchy and freedom is what i want" and value my time and agency over money.
- tonyarkles 10y agoSorry to hear about your divorce. And I know it's painful and you may not want to talk about it, but something stuck out at me, and if you'd like to elaborate I'd be very interested in hearing more: > she resents having to continue on her career path and not being able to be a stay-t-home mom If you're already covering the majority of the household income with the SaaS while your wife is in grad school... why does she have to continue grad school and her career path?
- thrownblown 10y agoI don't make that much money, but I only work 3 days a week. We are comfortable but we don't own a car and we rent. She wants to buy a house, I want to build an earthship. I get a lot out of being my own boss and learning new things and adding features to my SaaS, and the value inherent in entrepreneurship and building a business. My wife shares none of that, but does share the anxiety, instability and risk of self-employment.
- refurb 10y agoShe's admittedly jealous of how much time I spend with my son This is more common than people think. I've had male friends who either become stay at home dads or rearrange their work life to take on a majority of the childcare responsibilities. It's interesting how often this causes conflict in a marriage.