3 ms·

Do you want to marry someone who filters based on earning ability? Those are the types I try and avoid! Post-1950 man has so many more freedoms and opportuniti

by rbg246 10y ago

Do you want to marry someone who filters based on earning ability? Those are the types I try and avoid! Post-1950 man has so many more freedoms and opportunities and ways to live life, sure it is probably harder if you want to live your imagined 1950s lifestyle but now you don't have to live that 1950s lifestyle. I am sure a huge number of men were chain ganged into living that way during the 1950s which made life a lot worse than now. But I guess with choice and freedom brings anxiety and fear of choosing incorrectly.

vertex-four 10y ago
I think there's a lot of men who'll do anything to have a regular sex partner and a sense of purpose. Unfortunately, the sense of purpose society prescribes men is that of sole provider for a woman and 2-3 kids. Men are as much a victim of the societal power structures that pressure us all as women in this sense - an assertion that masculinity is intrinsically linked to this rather oppressive structure causes issues for men who don't fit into the structure.
dripton 10y ago
I married a woman who definitely filtered based on earning ability. Not in terms of "must be a millionaire" but in terms of "must have some evidence that he will be able to hold down a steady job." I'm pretty sure that if at some point in our relationship before we got married I had decided to permanently quit working and play video games all day, she would have broken up with me. I think the majority of rational women who are not independently wealthy do this. In fairness, she also imposed these rules on herself, so that she could take care of herself and any children in the event something happened to me. (She works part-time in a highly paid field. Partly because it interests her to work, and partly as an economic hedge -- we don't really need her income now, but if something happened to me, she could switch to full time and support the family.) It's economically rational to want a spouse who can earn money. It's not necessarily gold digging.

by rbg246 10y ago

vertex-four 10y ago

I think there's a lot of men who'll do anything to have a regular sex partner and a sense of purpose. Unfortunately, the sense of purpose society prescribes men is that of sole provider for a woman and 2-3 kids. Men are as much a victim of the societal power structures that pressure us all as women in this sense - an assertion that masculinity is intrinsically linked to this rather oppressive structure causes issues for men who don't fit into the structure.

dripton 10y ago

I married a woman who definitely filtered based on earning ability. Not in terms of "must be a millionaire" but in terms of "must have some evidence that he will be able to hold down a steady job." I'm pretty sure that if at some point in our relationship before we got married I had decided to permanently quit working and play video games all day, she would have broken up with me. I think the majority of rational women who are not independently wealthy do this. In fairness, she also imposed these rules on herself, so that she could take care of herself and any children in the event something happened to me. (She works part-time in a highly paid field. Partly because it interests her to work, and partly as an economic hedge -- we don't really need her income now, but if something happened to me, she could switch to full time and support the family.) It's economically rational to want a spouse who can earn money. It's not necessarily gold digging.