3 ms·

Well, what do you think the cause of hypergamy is?

mirimir 10y ago
Natural selection, I think. It's not a term that I was familiar with, but a little digging found this:[0] > The other, minor difference is that men are polygamous, not hypergamous. A man’s imperative is not (necessarily) to get the best woman. It’s to get as many women as possible with as little investment and commitment as possible. If he can do it, he would love to get as many women as possible at and a little below his own SMV, and have sex with as many of them as possible for as long as possible, without committing to or investing in any of them. That’s spinning plates. Most men don’t do this, because they can’t, because they’re not attractive enough, but that’s a different post. OK, so I'm a guy, and I can say for sure that this is what I always wanted. Most of the time, I wasn't attractive enough, because I was too self-conscious and nerdy. But I did manage it for a few years, until STDs took me down :( Anyway, there's also this about women: > A woman’s imperative is to get the best one man she can get for sex and for provisioning. That’s why you don’t see many women “dating” (i.e. having sex with) several different men at the same time. Women don’t spin plates; they pick the best plate they can and take care of it as best they can. Instead of trying to collect plates, they just change out the plates, one for another, when a bigger, better one comes along. That's consistent with what the parent article concludes, I think. It's just that there aren't many good plates left. 0) https://therationalmale.com/category/hypergamy-2/ https://therationalmale.com/category/hypergamy-2/ Edit: Responding to therpe1, I'm no evolutionary biologist, and I get that I've quoted a guy with quite an agenda. Still, the distinction that he draws fits will with the biology that I learned, and my personal experience. But please, do cite evidence.
- therpe1 10y ago
  Has HN really sunk to this level of pseudo-science? I do think it's interesting that as capitalism begins to shed people/jobs en masse -- and it's kind of the same thing because once you get rid of the jobs you inevitably have to get rid of the people even if its through very indirect like skyrocketing health insurance premiums -- people need to devise these kind of elaborate justifications based on evolutionary non-science. I guess it's easier to believe that all women are saving themselves for millionaires and alpha-males than it is to admit the basic truth that under capitalism everyone and everything is disposable in the name of accumulation. > That’s why you don’t see many women “dating” (i.e. having sex with) several different men at the same time. Women don’t spin plates; they pick the best plate they can and take care of it as best they can. It's laughable. This guy really has limited experience with women.
- 3131s 10y ago
  I don't even know where to start with that garbage article. First, most everybody has a natural urge to have sex with a lot of hot people. It's just that some people (women, for instance) will face greater opprobrium from their families and communities for doing so. That doesn't stop all women though. Many do in fact have sex with multiple men at a time. I am open to talking about the statistics of how many men vs. how many women do this, but I would not make conclusions involving stupid plate-spinning metaphors as that article does. And actually, the only stats I can find indicate that women tend to engage in polyamory more so than men [1]. And whether or not you're personal preferred lifestyle is to settle down, it's pretty much irrelevant when you're speaking about men generally. I have had a very high number of sexual partners, but I chose to then get married and have a single sexual partner. It's not because I would have been unable to keep sleeping around. I get approached by women more now than ever before and I'm not lying to say that I could find a new attractive sexual partner every day. I don't want to though. So, my experience and attitude directly contradict that passage you quoted. [1] http://www.advocate.com/current-issue/2016/1/08/polyamory-numbers http://www.advocate.com/current-issue/2016/1/08/polyamory-nu...
  - mirimir 10y ago
    Yes, there's strong selection for sexual desire :) And yes, men have traditionally had more slack about being promiscuous. However, over several years in an extended polyamory community, I found it far more common for women to push for commitment and monogamy than for men. And that's what I've heard about current app-based hookup culture.

Natural selection, I think. It's not a term that I was familiar with, but a little digging found this:[0] > The other, minor difference is that men are polygamous, not hypergamous. A man’s imperative is not (necessarily) to get the best woman. It’s to get as many women as possible with as little investment and commitment as possible. If he can do it, he would love to get as many women as possible at and a little below his own SMV, and have sex with as many of them as possible for as long as possible, without committing to or investing in any of them. That’s spinning plates. Most men don’t do this, because they can’t, because they’re not attractive enough, but that’s a different post. OK, so I'm a guy, and I can say for sure that this is what I always wanted. Most of the time, I wasn't attractive enough, because I was too self-conscious and nerdy. But I did manage it for a few years, until STDs took me down :( Anyway, there's also this about women: > A woman’s imperative is to get the best one man she can get for sex and for provisioning. That’s why you don’t see many women “dating” (i.e. having sex with) several different men at the same time. Women don’t spin plates; they pick the best plate they can and take care of it as best they can. Instead of trying to collect plates, they just change out the plates, one for another, when a bigger, better one comes along. That's consistent with what the parent article concludes, I think. It's just that there aren't many good plates left. 0) https://therationalmale.com/category/hypergamy-2/ https://therationalmale.com/category/hypergamy-2/ Edit: Responding to therpe1, I'm no evolutionary biologist, and I get that I've quoted a guy with quite an agenda. Still, the distinction that he draws fits will with the biology that I learned, and my personal experience. But please, do cite evidence.

therpe1 10y ago
Has HN really sunk to this level of pseudo-science? I do think it's interesting that as capitalism begins to shed people/jobs en masse -- and it's kind of the same thing because once you get rid of the jobs you inevitably have to get rid of the people even if its through very indirect like skyrocketing health insurance premiums -- people need to devise these kind of elaborate justifications based on evolutionary non-science. I guess it's easier to believe that all women are saving themselves for millionaires and alpha-males than it is to admit the basic truth that under capitalism everyone and everything is disposable in the name of accumulation. > That’s why you don’t see many women “dating” (i.e. having sex with) several different men at the same time. Women don’t spin plates; they pick the best plate they can and take care of it as best they can. It's laughable. This guy really has limited experience with women.
3131s 10y ago
I don't even know where to start with that garbage article. First, most everybody has a natural urge to have sex with a lot of hot people. It's just that some people (women, for instance) will face greater opprobrium from their families and communities for doing so. That doesn't stop all women though. Many do in fact have sex with multiple men at a time. I am open to talking about the statistics of how many men vs. how many women do this, but I would not make conclusions involving stupid plate-spinning metaphors as that article does. And actually, the only stats I can find indicate that women tend to engage in polyamory more so than men [1]. And whether or not you're personal preferred lifestyle is to settle down, it's pretty much irrelevant when you're speaking about men generally. I have had a very high number of sexual partners, but I chose to then get married and have a single sexual partner. It's not because I would have been unable to keep sleeping around. I get approached by women more now than ever before and I'm not lying to say that I could find a new attractive sexual partner every day. I don't want to though. So, my experience and attitude directly contradict that passage you quoted. [1] http://www.advocate.com/current-issue/2016/1/08/polyamory-numbers http://www.advocate.com/current-issue/2016/1/08/polyamory-nu...
- mirimir 10y ago
  Yes, there's strong selection for sexual desire :) And yes, men have traditionally had more slack about being promiscuous. However, over several years in an extended polyamory community, I found it far more common for women to push for commitment and monogamy than for men. And that's what I've heard about current app-based hookup culture.