The line between an ex-programmer and a programmer is pretty fluid. Just open your resume in a text editor, delete the first three characters in "ex-programmer"

The line between an ex-programmer and a programmer is pretty fluid. Just open your resume in a text editor, delete the first three characters in "ex-programmer", and your doom will be averted! Even better, open a file in your text editor and type puts "Hello, World" or, for more style points, (setq my-triumphant-return "Hello, World") and, voila, you're a programmer again. At least by the standards of many job applicants. Of course, by "ex-programmer" you may mean "I used to know how to program, but now the code that our programmers show me is completely opaque and I have no idea what it does or how it works or whether it harbors lots of hidden bugs." In which case... you are probably doomed! ;)