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I've always thought of it this way (since my 20s or so): 1. If I died today, would I have any regrets? 2. If I live to be 100+, would I be a burden on society

I've always thought of it this way (since my 20s or so): 1. If I died today, would I have any regrets? 2. If I live to be 100+, would I be a burden on society? I make decisions with the goal of being able to answer no to both of those questions. I'm in my mid 40s. I don't always get it right, but I feel the thought exercise is very helpful.

wry_discontent 10y ago
I don't think it's a good idea not to have regrets. Maybe your definition of regret is different than mine. I value my regrets tremendously. One cannot learn and grow without making mistakes, and there's no reason, as far as I can tell, to suspect that regrets aren't a zero sum game. If you do thing A, then you've lost the time/money/opportunity to do thing B.
- voidhorse 10y ago
  Great point. I always remind myself of an LCD Soundsystem lyric every now and then: "I wouldn't trade one stupid decision for another five years of life"
- mynameisvlad 10y ago
  I consider a "regret" something that I would actively go back in time to change. As of now (25), I would say I have none. Now, that doesn't mean I haven't experienced mistakes, learned from them, and grown as a person. It's just by the time the latter two happen, I no longer would want to go back in time to change what had originally happened because it's defined me so integrally as a person. A great example for me is high school, which objectively sucked. At the time, I had a million regrets but over the years, I learned a lot from them and turned parts of my life 180 degrees around in university based on the things I learned in high school. When someone asks me if I would go back and change anything from high school, my reply has been a flat "no" for a few years now.
  - jaxn 10y ago
    This is a great comment and shouldn't be downvoted.
  - Broken_Hippo 10y ago
    I look at it quite simlarly, and I'm 38. It isn't that I don't wish I had done things differently, it is that I did the best I could at the time. I learned things I wouldn't have learned otherwise. Some of this is things like dealing with my ex, after a suicide attempt and major mental health diagnosis. But alternatively, I fully like my life. Had I taken a different path, I might not have this life. (I might be happy with whatever I wound up with, but I'm happy I'm where I am).
    - mynameisvlad 10y ago
      > But alternatively, I fully like my life. Had I taken a different path, I might not have this life. This is exactly what it is. I'm sure that, had things gone differently, it would have all worked out in the end, but life is all about happenstances. If a certain chain of events hadn't happened, I wouldn't have met some of my best friends, or gotten the jobs I've gotten, and I value what I have today tremendously.

wry_discontent 10y ago

I don't think it's a good idea not to have regrets. Maybe your definition of regret is different than mine. I value my regrets tremendously. One cannot learn and grow without making mistakes, and there's no reason, as far as I can tell, to suspect that regrets aren't a zero sum game. If you do thing A, then you've lost the time/money/opportunity to do thing B.

voidhorse 10y ago
Great point. I always remind myself of an LCD Soundsystem lyric every now and then: "I wouldn't trade one stupid decision for another five years of life"
mynameisvlad 10y ago
I consider a "regret" something that I would actively go back in time to change. As of now (25), I would say I have none. Now, that doesn't mean I haven't experienced mistakes, learned from them, and grown as a person. It's just by the time the latter two happen, I no longer would want to go back in time to change what had originally happened because it's defined me so integrally as a person. A great example for me is high school, which objectively sucked. At the time, I had a million regrets but over the years, I learned a lot from them and turned parts of my life 180 degrees around in university based on the things I learned in high school. When someone asks me if I would go back and change anything from high school, my reply has been a flat "no" for a few years now.
- jaxn 10y ago
  This is a great comment and shouldn't be downvoted.
- Broken_Hippo 10y ago
  I look at it quite simlarly, and I'm 38. It isn't that I don't wish I had done things differently, it is that I did the best I could at the time. I learned things I wouldn't have learned otherwise. Some of this is things like dealing with my ex, after a suicide attempt and major mental health diagnosis. But alternatively, I fully like my life. Had I taken a different path, I might not have this life. (I might be happy with whatever I wound up with, but I'm happy I'm where I am).
  - mynameisvlad 10y ago
    > But alternatively, I fully like my life. Had I taken a different path, I might not have this life. This is exactly what it is. I'm sure that, had things gone differently, it would have all worked out in the end, but life is all about happenstances. If a certain chain of events hadn't happened, I wouldn't have met some of my best friends, or gotten the jobs I've gotten, and I value what I have today tremendously.