Well, this isn't Japan or Korea ... it's not quite the same career obligation. But it can vary widely among startups especially. Where I work we moved our happ

Well, this isn't Japan or Korea ... it's not quite the same career obligation. But it can vary widely among startups especially. Where I work we moved our happy hours to be squarely within work hours (before 5pm) and other places I have worked have had very few after-hours events. Just be aware that startups or young companies that you may be attracted to may not be congruent with your wish to have a life outside of work. If the company attracts more people with spouses/families, then they will be a bit more respectful of your life. Also: remember, if they are keeping a scorecard, judging you based on bullshit like whether you attend happy-hour outside events, you need to note this in your evaluation of them. Don't let it all be on you. It is on them, for creating idiotic acceptance criteria. From time to time you have to be ready to fire your boss (get a new job) for his being an idiot.