5 ms·

I'm not really sure where this idea of a laid back California comes from... in my general experience people seem way more agro on BART and Muni and around the b

I'm not really sure where this idea of a laid back California comes from... in my general experience people seem way more agro on BART and Muni and around the bay than in NYC. Hell, even in LA when going out for drinks bouncers and such seem way more keyed up than on the east coast (or the north west).

deaddodo 10y ago
Californian here. Completely opposite experience, especially SoCal vs the Northeast. NYC, Boston, northern Virginia, etc...always seemed like people were much more uptight and kept to themselves. Boston especially, you seem to have to get through like 4 layers of rudeness/offputedness before people open up to you...which doesn't always seem worth it. Meanwhile, going to a friends' party in San Diego or Los Angeles and I can walk out with 4 new friends/acquaintances, which lead to more invites and potential connections. And the differences only get further expounded professionally. I regularly go to work in a T and jeans. Sometimes even board shorts, when summer gets toasty enough. I would never dream of doing any of that working for any companies I've interacted with on the East Coast. In fact, it's regularly something they'll bring up in conversation. There's a plethora of reasons behind those differences and neither is necessarily bad, but that's where my opinion of "laid back" versus not stems from.
- alpha_squared 10y ago
  Anecdotal as well, I suppose, but my experience is similar. I grew up and lived in LA for 20 years, frequenting San Diego (SD) once or twice a year on average before moving there for about a year. I've been to some of the large cities (St. Louis, Newark, Boston, Detroit, NYC, Portland, San Francisco, Sacramento) and now live in Seattle. Northern California (NorCal) is very different from Southern California (SoCal), which itself is very different than any other place I've been to. The sun, the sand, the year-round summer-like temperatures -- it all feeds into the lifestyle. This was much more pronounced in SD than in LA. I had trouble conversing with random people on the street or elsewhere in the Northeast or Northwest (Midwest was actually easier than SoCal). The near-constant pleasantness of the weather encourages you to be more active and "out" more often. It was a very regular thing in SD to go watch sunsets on the beach (regardless of season) after work. The proximity to the border made it pretty hard to find a bad Mexican food place and the tacos -- oh, the tacos -- were amazing. There are whole companies (mostly startups) that brand themselves as a "go surf in the early morning, come to work later" sort of place. There certainly is a myth and sort of "magic" to it that I don't even think the movies and media capture.
- aninhumer 10y ago
  >>in my general experience people seem way more agro on BART and Muni >NYC, Boston, northern Virginia, etc... always seemed like people were much more uptight and kept to themselves. It kind of sounds like you're talking about different things. A more outgoing person might seem agro, if that's not what you're used to. Or similarly, a more reserved person might seem rude.
  - dkarl 10y ago
    > A more outgoing person might seem agro, if that's not what you're used to. That was my experience coming from a large town/small city to bigger places. Random dude I don't know started talking to me, that put me on alert. It was stressful. Why is this guy talking to strangers? Is he crazy? Is he sizing me up to attack me? It did not feel laid back. There's a stereotype of small towns as being places where everybody talks to everybody, but my hometown was big enough that you didn't know everybody, and people only talked to who they knew. Maybe in really small towns people talk to everybody because they know everybody, and in cities people talk to strangers because they're always surrounded by strangers, but what was familiar (and hence "laid back") to me in my upbringing was to ignore people you didn't know. If you were curious about someone you didn't know, you'd wait until they were gone and then ask your friend, "Do you know who that was?" Any interaction with a stranger would be preceded by a sincere apology and a REALLY good excuse.
  - deaddodo 10y ago
    I don't do public transit and, when I do, don't usually talk to people on it. I was specifically referring to meeting people in social situations. Parties, bars, etc.

deaddodo 10y ago

Californian here. Completely opposite experience, especially SoCal vs the Northeast. NYC, Boston, northern Virginia, etc...always seemed like people were much more uptight and kept to themselves. Boston especially, you seem to have to get through like 4 layers of rudeness/offputedness before people open up to you...which doesn't always seem worth it. Meanwhile, going to a friends' party in San Diego or Los Angeles and I can walk out with 4 new friends/acquaintances, which lead to more invites and potential connections. And the differences only get further expounded professionally. I regularly go to work in a T and jeans. Sometimes even board shorts, when summer gets toasty enough. I would never dream of doing any of that working for any companies I've interacted with on the East Coast. In fact, it's regularly something they'll bring up in conversation. There's a plethora of reasons behind those differences and neither is necessarily bad, but that's where my opinion of "laid back" versus not stems from.

alpha_squared 10y ago
Anecdotal as well, I suppose, but my experience is similar. I grew up and lived in LA for 20 years, frequenting San Diego (SD) once or twice a year on average before moving there for about a year. I've been to some of the large cities (St. Louis, Newark, Boston, Detroit, NYC, Portland, San Francisco, Sacramento) and now live in Seattle. Northern California (NorCal) is very different from Southern California (SoCal), which itself is very different than any other place I've been to. The sun, the sand, the year-round summer-like temperatures -- it all feeds into the lifestyle. This was much more pronounced in SD than in LA. I had trouble conversing with random people on the street or elsewhere in the Northeast or Northwest (Midwest was actually easier than SoCal). The near-constant pleasantness of the weather encourages you to be more active and "out" more often. It was a very regular thing in SD to go watch sunsets on the beach (regardless of season) after work. The proximity to the border made it pretty hard to find a bad Mexican food place and the tacos -- oh, the tacos -- were amazing. There are whole companies (mostly startups) that brand themselves as a "go surf in the early morning, come to work later" sort of place. There certainly is a myth and sort of "magic" to it that I don't even think the movies and media capture.
aninhumer 10y ago
>>in my general experience people seem way more agro on BART and Muni >NYC, Boston, northern Virginia, etc... always seemed like people were much more uptight and kept to themselves. It kind of sounds like you're talking about different things. A more outgoing person might seem agro, if that's not what you're used to. Or similarly, a more reserved person might seem rude.
- dkarl 10y ago
  > A more outgoing person might seem agro, if that's not what you're used to. That was my experience coming from a large town/small city to bigger places. Random dude I don't know started talking to me, that put me on alert. It was stressful. Why is this guy talking to strangers? Is he crazy? Is he sizing me up to attack me? It did not feel laid back. There's a stereotype of small towns as being places where everybody talks to everybody, but my hometown was big enough that you didn't know everybody, and people only talked to who they knew. Maybe in really small towns people talk to everybody because they know everybody, and in cities people talk to strangers because they're always surrounded by strangers, but what was familiar (and hence "laid back") to me in my upbringing was to ignore people you didn't know. If you were curious about someone you didn't know, you'd wait until they were gone and then ask your friend, "Do you know who that was?" Any interaction with a stranger would be preceded by a sincere apology and a REALLY good excuse.
- deaddodo 10y ago
  I don't do public transit and, when I do, don't usually talk to people on it. I was specifically referring to meeting people in social situations. Parties, bars, etc.