8 ms·
Ask HN: What's the single best piece of advice you've ever heard?
- new_hackers 10y agoDon't be an asshole
- EnderMB 10y agoI came here to post "Don't be a dick", but glad to see that someone already has it covered. Throughout my career, I have worked with countless people that were happy to piss off others to get stuff done, and while it might get something done in the short-term, it damages them in the long term. It doesn't matter how junior they are right now, that junior developer you shat all over might be the senior developer that tells the MD not to hire you when you rock up for an interview after being made redundant. That contractor you tried to short-change over a delivered piece of work might be the reason why you are struggling to hire people with similar skills, or the reason why a company is keen to pursue you for not delivering. That person you harassed at work might be the reason why people keep leaving your company. All of these scenarios has happened to me in the last five years, and I'd say that my career has been shaped by the experienced of others. I'd also say that it shapes the career of many people. Hell, you only need to see the recent issues at Uber to see a company that will fail to attract top talent, and employees that will struggle to work in any team with previous co-workers.
- oldmancoyote 10y agoI'll paraphrase it because I can't remember how it went. Choose some interest/activity aside from your career and commit to pursue it for the rest of your life. Such a sustained effort will one day prove to be of immense value. If you don't make your choice right now, you never will. I didn't, and I didn't, and at the age of 70 how I wish I had.
- austinjp 10y agoSome related advice I've heard: it's never too late to start :) No snark intended. What might you start?
- sreenadh 10y agoThat is so true. For most, their identity is based on their job. So, when something happens to the job, they get crushed.
- skdotdan 10y agoIt's never too late! Could you put some examples or make some suggestions? I'm looking for a new hobby, which, apart from being a hobby itself, could help me in other aspects of my life.
- rokhayakebe 10y agoKeep your. Humility on the way up. Dignity on the way down.
- banterfoil 10y agoLiving well is the best revenge.
- alashley 10y agoDon't take any advice.
- ai_ia 10y agoDon't take advice from someone, with whom you don't want to trade places.
- imode 10y agowhat you want to learn has been learned before a thousand times. never fear walking on a well-worn path.
- victorbojica 10y agoLearn to rest, not to quit.
- Casseres 10y agoAlways ask,"Is there anything else I can do to help?" Don't just ask once if you can help, everyone else does that. Be the person who asks again and again. People will take notice and tell others. It's the quickest way to new opportunities.
- andrei_says_ 10y agoDon't believe your thoughts. Stop calling them "my thoughts" -- observe how they emerge and investigate if you're the one causing them.
- robodale 10y agoAgreed. Reflection is key in all aspects of your life. If something went bad/good/neither...look at the reality around you that resulted in that outcome.
- Vaskivo 10y agoI've... never thought of that. Thanks.
- usgroup 10y agoWow, genuinely interesting but complicated advise. Literally wouldn't know how to do that but I certainly wish I could attribute thoughts better.
- andrei_says_ 10y agoYou can start by investigating your thoughts with a sceptic mind. Especially the ones creating emotional response. For example "I am a failure." How do I know this is true? Does failing at one or n things classify me as something? Would I have failed if I wasn't trying? Was there learning involved? Do I have a recollection of succeeding at something at least once? This example is a bit long to show multiple ways of questioning. Emotionally charged thoughts are more often than not unoriginal and irrational. You can also look at Byron Katie's "The Work" methodology. --- As for investigating the emergence of your thoughts, simply point your attention to where a thought comes from when you notice you have a thought. Like, why am I thinking that I am failure? What happened right before that? Did I decide to think that thought before I did? You may discover that most thoughts are repetitive, unoriginal and automatic. Are they "your thoughts" then if they're just happening to you? Are they "yours" if they happen to a bunch of people? And, bonus: do you act on all your thoughts? If not, what decides if you'll act? Observe these decisions. Do you will them into existence? Are they happening to you? "What makes me tick?" Is a question I have curiosity about. These are some directions to put your attention in if you have this curiosity, too.
- nickfromseattle 10y agoKnow your audience. Knowing your audience is critical to communicating effectively and impacts every human interaction you'll have. Two people with an arbitrary goal having separate conversation with the same person can have vastly different outcomes predicated on how well they know their audience. Some examples off the top of my head: 1) Teaching a novice; understanding their skill level and learning style to guide how you teach and what you teach. 2) Asking for a favor from a colleague in a different department; understanding their priorities, pressure points, and professional goals to position your request in a way most likely to be accepted. 3) Traffic stop; understanding the LEO's concerns to ensure a smooth stop and preferably a warning for the reason you were pulled over. 4) Giving a presentation; different people care about different things, understanding your audience allows you to choose the messaging that your audience cares about and resonates the most.
- htwillie 10y agoDon't take advice from anyone without skin in the game, for they have no tangible downside to being wrong.
- HugoDaniel 10y ago"Don't piss into a power socket" (in pt): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcI_2zvwejk&list=PL2332BC2EBB3870B8&index=22 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcI_2zvwejk&list=PL2332BC2EB...
- mlashcorp 10y agoI guess you don't know your audience ;)
- osullivj 10y agoBeware charm. Charming, charismatic people can use their charm to mask a multitude of faults and deceptions.
- deleted 10y ago[deleted]
- murkle 10y ago"teach them to ride a bike one at a time" (as parent of twins trying to be "fair" :) "apologise early"
- alltakendamned 10y agoEither you earn or you learn
- ErikMC 10y agoGo for a run in the morning. Even if you have a crap day, at least you've gone for a run. It applies to things other than running, too.
- pmiller2 10y agoHave emergency savings, preferably a bare minimum of 3 months' worth of expenses, available. Depending on your risk tolerance and income stability, 6 or 9 months might be appropriate. It's absolutely amazing the peace of mind and freedom to take risk that having emergency savings can give you.
- craftkiller 10y agoTreat people like sovereign nations
- mrlyc 10y agoDo what you love, what you are good at and what people are willing to pay for.
- deleted 10y ago[deleted]
- jennytodavchych 10y agoRelax and answer will come . If you can not make decision - just stop thinking about it for few days(if it's possible, of course). Answer will come from where you can not expect.
- Gustomaximus 10y agoWant to get something done, do a little bit at a time. - My grandma... miss you supergran.
- TobbenTM 10y ago"Always try to be the dumbest person in the room." Surrounding yourself with smart people is the best way to learn and improve.
- o2l 10y agoThis is a very interesting way to look at things. I will try that.
- qiqitori 10y agoMaking mistakes is part of human nature. It's best to expect that a lot of things will go wrong, items will be lost, deadlines won't be kept, driving won't be done correctly, your boss won't know that doing $thing will cause $badthings (including annoyed employees), code will be written suboptimally, people will say stuff that hurts other people, people who hurt other people will claim they acted perfectly normally, etc.
- pards 10y ago"I go first" - heard it on a Tim Ferriss podcast. Be the first to volunteer, to put your hand up with a question, to introduce yourself to others, to open the conversation. It avoids those awkward moments when a group of people look at their shoes wondering who is going to respond. It also helped me address my general reluctance to be the first responder.
- hyperman1 10y agoFrom the Thief II game: To use thy chisel is to blunt its edge 'gainst the stone. To not use thy chisel is to waste its edge. I know it is some drivel invented to stuff out the in-game story, but it stuck. I tend not to use some nice thing as I might break/waste it, so I use this text as an occasional prod that it's fine.
- theslugger 10y agoLet it not be said you never got what you wanted because you never asked.
- sghiassy 10y agoI've always liked this quote by Ira Glass "Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through."
- Gustomaximus 10y ago> Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. Many people who strive to excel feel this always to an extent via higher expectations on themselves than people around them hold.
- dgranda 10y agoWork hard. Be strong. Don't complain.
- m4ns0ur 10y agoJust let it go.
- partisan 10y agoI have two: My mom told me once that I am not responsible for the happiness of others. Prior to that, it was a tremendous burden for me when loved ones were unhappy and I felt like there was nothing I could do. The other one is "No matter where you go, there you are". My early career was marked by short stints at different companies because I was looking for the perfect work environment. Eventually, I realized that the only constant amongst those places was me. I now fight the urge to escape whenever things aren't going how I want them to because, ultimately, I will still be me wherever I go and it is better to deal with my issues than change the world around me.
- dinosaurs 10y agoThe worst mistake to make is to be afraid to make mistakes.
- willhallonline 10y agoSmile more. Because it will make you happier and everyone around you happier. Everything will become easier if you smile more.
- WhiteOwlLion 10y agoHealth is a precious resource you don't squander. Lack of it can take down even the richest of men. Steve Jobs.
- staunch 10y agoRead the classics!
- oldmancoyote 10y agoFew worthwhile efforts are every successful on the first attempt. Failure is a necessary part of eventual success. It provides improved context and insights. As a young man, I thought that something must be wrong with me because I always failed when I tried something new and so I usually gave up. Guilt has nothing what-so-ever to do with failure. Failure is just another useful metric.
- chauhankiran 10y agoI like this quote ( and piece of advice ) : I would say don’t take advice from people like me who have gotten very lucky. We’re very biased. You know, like Taylor Swift telling you to follow your dreams is like a lottery winner telling you, "Liquidize your assets, buy Powerball tickets, it works!" – Bo Burnham
- a_lifters_life 10y agohealth is your greatest wealth.