Additional reply because I'm out of the edit window. I wanted to address this one line: >I guess I'm just sort of disappointed that all my most motivated time

Additional reply because I'm out of the edit window. I wanted to address this one line: >I guess I'm just sort of disappointed that all my most motivated times seem to have sunk into other activities and now I don't get them to learn on my own. I don't know what to do about it. What you do is realize that you need to cut back on some of the other activities, even if the are what you are 'supposed' to be doing, and give yourself the time and space you need. This may mean spending less time with friends. That is OK. Everyone needs alone time to some degree. I personally need a lot of it, and I love my family and friends. Getting my alone time is what allows me to be at my best for when I am with them, and there is nothing wrong with that.