I've been experiencing something similar in my own life. It comes down to basically believing what I immediately see and experience, rather than or regardless

I've been experiencing something similar in my own life. It comes down to basically believing what I immediately see and experience, rather than or regardless of: 1) What I am told; 2) What I might hope for -- either immediately or "at some point in the future". There is a saying -- an aphorism? -- for this, that applies particularly -- but not only -- to initial impressions. (I won't say "first", in case of a literal bad day for someone.) When someone shows you who [or what] they are, believe them. This is also phrased as: When someone tells you who [or what] they are, believe them. When I reflect back on experiences with people who have ultimately disappointed me, I often find that indeed, they were telling me more or less directly that this would happen. In descriptions of themselves. In descriptions of their other relationships. Sometimes in a particularly poignant word or sentence. It was there -- they were telling me so, right at the start. I find that for institutions, too. And the personalities that comprise them and guide them. Hell, in this case, even their name choice: U[e]ber. Really?