I've previously experienced two kinds of therapy: one which emphasized the "what do you feel, why do you feel like that, what or who caused you to feel this way

I've previously experienced two kinds of therapy: one which emphasized the "what do you feel, why do you feel like that, what or who caused you to feel this way", and one which completely disregarded the past, who was to blame, etc. and which instead focused on what actions I was presently taking, and what positive outcomes resulted from my actions. Guess which method worked. Unfortunately, I think a lot of the therapy out there is the first type, which for me, and most (I suspect), just makes the negative spiral worse. You spend MORE time thinking about what's wrong with you then you did before (if that were possible). The second approach was life changing for me. I learned to let go of the past, and focus on what I'm doing which works (which, surprise surprise, leads to more of such behavior). And interestingly enough, the therapy was relatively short term: something like three months, once a week. And that was almost ten years, marriage, and three kids ago--and I'm still practicing to good effect what I learned in that brief time. So my advice to anyone who will listen who's in therapy or interested in it is this: seek out a counselor or therapist who focuses on short term therapy which focuses on present action and positive (desirable to you) outcomes. Every other approach, IMHO, is a waste of time and money...And may make you more worse off in the end. These people can be hard to find, but they're worth their weight in gold.