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Ask HN: I was insulted at work and its bothering me. What shall I do?
Last week I sent out generic email to one of the internal user group asking them few things specifically and providing suggestions on certain items. One of the person took that in the wrong sense and flat out insulted me questioning what I really do. He also said he will work with my manager on few items directly.
It got to his director and she of course sided with him. She has been uber-bitch always. I apologized even though I shouldn't have and closed out thread. It turns out one of the girl made false statements internally to push her tasks up in the queue.
My manager talked on my behalf with this person and he came up with something which i didn't do or didn't say.
I would have switched team or looked for another job. But, compensation is good so finding this good job is gonna take time. It is eating me internally though. Open communication is not an option due to rank and file nature of the company.
What shall I do?
- ankurdhama 10y agoDid you came up with the answer for the question "what do you really do"?
- rustyball 10y agoPerson, who insulted me didn't know me at all. He is new on user group team, but kind of senior. I replied on the progress and said that delay had nothing to do with me. My manager knows I work 60 hrs and just recently lead and launched critically important project. I wrote to my manager saying what he wrote was disturbing and he is accusing me of something even though he is new.
- ankurdhama 10y agoThe only reasonable thing I can think of is to go to this new person and just have a causal talk over lunch or coffee. Get to know each other. Get rid of the idea that you were insulted, it will only make you feel bad and no body else will have any impact of it. The only thing that you have control over is yourself and your feelings.
- rustyball 10y agoIsn't that like me backing down even though I was right and feeding his ego that his behavior is okay?
- alltakendamned 10y agoNot necessarily. It's you being an adult. Also, and I'm not even kidding, if you cannot deal with a company which places a lot of importance and hierarchy, move on to another place where that is not the case. You'll be miserable if you don't.
- chron 10y agoHow about get over it and move on, not worth your time. It bothering you gives them all the power.
- usgroup 10y agoDon't take it personally. Soon enough someone else will walk by and they'll unleash at them too, you won't stay the flavour of the month for long. Politics 101, keep your paper trail and keep your dignity (don't apologise ever again for being the victim !). Meanwhile, since it sounds like you're not a political creature, just wait for their inevitable implosion.
- forgottenacc57 10y agoIgnore the politics or leave.
- zimbatm 10y agoThe best move is to forgive the other person, it's not worth wasting your time over emotions at work. Maybe they had a bad day, it can happen to anyone. Just keep your ground and make sure you are perceived as being helpful in the situation and move on.
- douche 10y agoDon't make a mountain out of a molehill.