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"I looked at her “like a little girl” when we were having a conversation." Almost all of the examples of 'having a hard time around other people' amount to the

"I looked at her “like a little girl” when we were having a conversation." Almost all of the examples of 'having a hard time around other people' amount to their self perceptions not necessarily the authors actions. It's impossible to 'look at someone like a little girl'. It's mostly likely that these people either feel insecure, or, they project certain qualities upon the author. I have a very 'straight face' and because of lack of emotional response, people have asked 'why am I angry at them?' when I had not even a whiff of such emotion. I was literally deeply contemplating what they were saying! Now - it there may be other tons of behavioural signals - and it's possible the author was treating someone as a little girl, i.e. not paying attention, being dismissive, condescending without knowing it - which would then give a different characteristic to that persons opinion. And it's easy for someone to create feelings when a successful person 'pulls up in a Tesla'. Any hint at bragging/humble-bragging in any way might be taken the wrong way. But it's a good article, at least it's good to have some self-reflection/self-awareness.

aerovistae 10y ago
> It's impossible to 'look at someone like a little girl'. It's mostly likely that these people either feel insecure, or, they project certain qualities upon the author. It's definitely possible to have a look in your eyes and facial expression and body language that clearly says "I'm not taking you seriously right now."
hkmurakami 10y ago
>I have a very 'straight face' and because of lack of emotional response, people have asked 'why am I angry at them?' when I had not even a whiff of such emotion. I was literally deeply contemplating what they were saying! Well I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with this problem.
- CharlesW 10y ago
  Friend, many of us carry this burden. Here's the technical term: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resting_bitch_face https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resting_bitch_face
thehardsphere 10y ago
>It's impossible to 'look at someone like a little girl'. It's mostly likely that these people either feel insecure, or, they project certain qualities upon the author. What kind of person ends up surrounded by insecure feeling people like this?
- edblarney 10y ago
  Most people are at least subtly intimidated by those of very apparently higher economic or social standing. ... and people commonly make assumptions about what that person might be like, how they might think about things - assumptions which get projected onto a person which may in fact have no relevance at all. It's very common that people with a great deal of wealth have trouble getting along with those that don't. Issues run both ways.
  - thehardsphere 10y ago
    Well, sure, but he's describing people who have known him a long time. >Yesterday, I got told by someone I really care about >The day before that, one of my very closest friends and someone who I love like family told me If these people are as close to the author as he claims, then this assumption-projection thing I don't think would hold up. They don't need to backfill with assumptions about "what would a rich guy think" because they should know the author well enough not to have those kinds of gaps.
    - edblarney 10y ago
      It still happens with friends that you've known for a long time. Some people become very successful and it becomes harder to relate to their 'high school pals'.
arghIdontwantto 10y ago
Believe me, it isn't impossible to look and talk to someone 'like a little girl'. Usually when a woman says this, it is usually because the other person is dismissive of the other person's ideas and thoughts, acts superior, and just sorta 'tolerates' them because they are female (like a father may look at their kid and no matter how grown up they are, they still treat their oppinions and choices as those of a child) (ps: a man, but have a few female friends that confided this in me about their 'rich' husbands that treat them more as a pretty trophy with no input about anything than anything else)

aerovistae 10y ago

> It's impossible to 'look at someone like a little girl'. It's mostly likely that these people either feel insecure, or, they project certain qualities upon the author. It's definitely possible to have a look in your eyes and facial expression and body language that clearly says "I'm not taking you seriously right now."

hkmurakami 10y ago

>I have a very 'straight face' and because of lack of emotional response, people have asked 'why am I angry at them?' when I had not even a whiff of such emotion. I was literally deeply contemplating what they were saying! Well I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with this problem.

CharlesW 10y ago
Friend, many of us carry this burden. Here's the technical term: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resting_bitch_face https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resting_bitch_face

thehardsphere 10y ago

>It's impossible to 'look at someone like a little girl'. It's mostly likely that these people either feel insecure, or, they project certain qualities upon the author. What kind of person ends up surrounded by insecure feeling people like this?

edblarney 10y ago
Most people are at least subtly intimidated by those of very apparently higher economic or social standing. ... and people commonly make assumptions about what that person might be like, how they might think about things - assumptions which get projected onto a person which may in fact have no relevance at all. It's very common that people with a great deal of wealth have trouble getting along with those that don't. Issues run both ways.
- thehardsphere 10y ago
  Well, sure, but he's describing people who have known him a long time. >Yesterday, I got told by someone I really care about >The day before that, one of my very closest friends and someone who I love like family told me If these people are as close to the author as he claims, then this assumption-projection thing I don't think would hold up. They don't need to backfill with assumptions about "what would a rich guy think" because they should know the author well enough not to have those kinds of gaps.
  - edblarney 10y ago
    It still happens with friends that you've known for a long time. Some people become very successful and it becomes harder to relate to their 'high school pals'.

arghIdontwantto 10y ago

Believe me, it isn't impossible to look and talk to someone 'like a little girl'. Usually when a woman says this, it is usually because the other person is dismissive of the other person's ideas and thoughts, acts superior, and just sorta 'tolerates' them because they are female (like a father may look at their kid and no matter how grown up they are, they still treat their oppinions and choices as those of a child) (ps: a man, but have a few female friends that confided this in me about their 'rich' husbands that treat them more as a pretty trophy with no input about anything than anything else)