5 ms·

The dating app I'd like to see/make is the one that figures out how to ban/deal with lewd men scaring away so many women. I've heard from so many women how the

The dating app I'd like to see/make is the one that figures out how to ban/deal with lewd men scaring away so many women. I've heard from so many women how they tried for a few days and just got DTF (down to f*ck?) messsges they left discussed. I'm surprised any women actually say on the sites. Unfortunately no good ideas spring to mind.

Pyxl101 10y ago
How about a way to report, "I don't like receiving this type of message" and "I like this type of message", along with an ML system that can learn which type of users send lewd messages, and which people either like or dislike receiving them? The men who send DTF messages eventually only get paired with women who are interested to receive them. With smart ML, the site is what each person wants it to be. Beyond categorizing users, perhaps you can categorize the sentiment of messages themselves using unsupervised learning on the messages and user responses. Or maybe just a star rating for messages, Uber style. Drive everyone who wants to send DTF messages to another site.
- richforrester 10y ago
  > and which people either like or dislike receiving them That's key. Don't turn people (data) away - re-purpose them (it).
kirubakaran 10y ago
Bayesian classifier should be able to correctly categorize these simple overused messages, right?
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
- nether 10y ago
  The problem is, sometimes they work. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13657508 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13657508. One of the reasons OkCupid didn't ban duplicate messages is that often they led to successful exchanges.
stale2002 10y ago
There actually is, it is an app called The League. They solve this problem by putting up barriers to entry, and aggressively banning people. You either wait for months to get on the app, or pay a bunch of money to skip the line. And if you behave badly, well there goes your 150$ yearly, prepay membership. The disadvantages of this app, are, well, those same barriers to entry.....
- gydfi 10y ago
  High barriers to entry to a dating app would seem to select for desperation.
  - crazygringo 10y ago
    They do.
  - devonharvey 10y ago
    The League selects people based on their career, education and physical attractiveness.
    - gydfi 10y ago
      Leaving a small pool of people who have all those things, and are still desperate, due to overwhelming personality flaws.
      - stale2002 10y ago
        It is not people who are "desperate". It is women who hate getting message like "DTF", or hate receiving unsolicited dick pics. Tinder, and other dating apps suck. So it is reasonable to want to have a more high quality experience, especially for rich professionals who can easily afford to throw a mere 100$ or so for a high quality experience.
  - stale2002 10y ago
    Or maybe if all the other apps suck?
elastic_church 10y ago
Its called going to a place where there are more women than men.
nether 10y ago
Bumble forces women to initiate contact, which greatly cuts down on the nasty messages from men. http://www.xojane.com/sex/feminist-dating-app-bumble http://www.xojane.com/sex/feminist-dating-app-bumble > The best thing about Bumble is that regardless of who I swipe right on, and who swipes right on me, I easily avoid those horrendous first Tinder messages that ask me for threesomes or whether I like dragons, and if I do, whether I want “these balls dragon” across my face
leafbutter 10y ago
>I've heard from so many women how they tried for a few days and just got DTF Women are DTF, but only if you're a guy who is in the top 20% of good looks. Check out our friend David (upper left hand), and notice how responsive women are: https://i.redd.it/2ci850jos81y.jpg https://i.redd.it/2ci850jos81y.jpg "Oh fuck yeah whenever you want" "You had me at no ambition" "Come over. Doors open." However, when a guy who isn't in the top 20% of the gene pool opens up with those DTF lines, then women find it creepy, offensive, and turned off.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]

Pyxl101 10y ago

How about a way to report, "I don't like receiving this type of message" and "I like this type of message", along with an ML system that can learn which type of users send lewd messages, and which people either like or dislike receiving them? The men who send DTF messages eventually only get paired with women who are interested to receive them. With smart ML, the site is what each person wants it to be. Beyond categorizing users, perhaps you can categorize the sentiment of messages themselves using unsupervised learning on the messages and user responses. Or maybe just a star rating for messages, Uber style. Drive everyone who wants to send DTF messages to another site.

richforrester 10y ago
> and which people either like or dislike receiving them That's key. Don't turn people (data) away - re-purpose them (it).

kirubakaran 10y ago

Bayesian classifier should be able to correctly categorize these simple overused messages, right?

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]
nether 10y ago
The problem is, sometimes they work. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13657508 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13657508. One of the reasons OkCupid didn't ban duplicate messages is that often they led to successful exchanges.

stale2002 10y ago

There actually is, it is an app called The League. They solve this problem by putting up barriers to entry, and aggressively banning people. You either wait for months to get on the app, or pay a bunch of money to skip the line. And if you behave badly, well there goes your 150$ yearly, prepay membership. The disadvantages of this app, are, well, those same barriers to entry.....

gydfi 10y ago
High barriers to entry to a dating app would seem to select for desperation.
- crazygringo 10y ago
  They do.
- devonharvey 10y ago
  The League selects people based on their career, education and physical attractiveness.
  - gydfi 10y ago
    Leaving a small pool of people who have all those things, and are still desperate, due to overwhelming personality flaws.
    - stale2002 10y ago
      It is not people who are "desperate". It is women who hate getting message like "DTF", or hate receiving unsolicited dick pics. Tinder, and other dating apps suck. So it is reasonable to want to have a more high quality experience, especially for rich professionals who can easily afford to throw a mere 100$ or so for a high quality experience.
- stale2002 10y ago
  Or maybe if all the other apps suck?

elastic_church 10y ago

Its called going to a place where there are more women than men.

nether 10y ago

Bumble forces women to initiate contact, which greatly cuts down on the nasty messages from men. http://www.xojane.com/sex/feminist-dating-app-bumble http://www.xojane.com/sex/feminist-dating-app-bumble > The best thing about Bumble is that regardless of who I swipe right on, and who swipes right on me, I easily avoid those horrendous first Tinder messages that ask me for threesomes or whether I like dragons, and if I do, whether I want “these balls dragon” across my face

leafbutter 10y ago

>I've heard from so many women how they tried for a few days and just got DTF Women are DTF, but only if you're a guy who is in the top 20% of good looks. Check out our friend David (upper left hand), and notice how responsive women are: https://i.redd.it/2ci850jos81y.jpg https://i.redd.it/2ci850jos81y.jpg "Oh fuck yeah whenever you want" "You had me at no ambition" "Come over. Doors open." However, when a guy who isn't in the top 20% of the gene pool opens up with those DTF lines, then women find it creepy, offensive, and turned off.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]