A divine, golden, glowing but somewhat wretchedly obsessive unicorn has fallen into obsession with an end-table. "How symmetric, how uniform, how efficient. If

A divine, golden, glowing but somewhat wretchedly obsessive unicorn has fallen into obsession with an end-table. "How symmetric, how uniform, how efficient. If only I could be like you!" He proceeds to plane his back flat, saw off his legs to replace them with painted oak, trim that awkward horn... His friends, appalled, have him committed.