5 ms·

"As part of what he says was an ongoing discussion on human uniqueness..." Context is everything. Even if what he says is true, what's acceptable as a one-off

"As part of what he says was an ongoing discussion on human uniqueness..." Context is everything. Even if what he says is true, what's acceptable as a one-off joke takes an entirely different meaning when it's just the latest in a series of affronts. If you haven't read it already, the other side of the story paints a pretty different picture to the article: http://felidware.com/DylanEvans/c1.jpg http://felidware.com/DylanEvans/c1.jpg http://felidware.com/DylanEvans/c2.jpg http://felidware.com/DylanEvans/c2.jpg Sounds to me like the guy is socially inept, and unable to tell when he's making her uncomfortable.

flatline 16y ago
And, it sounds like she has not done the proper thing and told him to knock it off, that it really bothers her, etc. She mentioned several times that she just dodged/avoided him, which is human nature but is exactly the wrong thing to do if you are at the point of writing a letter like this. It sounds like this came to this guy through the administration somewhat of the blue, whether he was clueless about his innuendos or not (my guess is not but who knows). Now he's going to do everything in his power and rally support to defend himself - not at all what the accuser wanted or most likely deserved.
chc 16y ago
None of the other events she describes have an obvious sexual undertone, even if we accept the paper did. She appears to be describing a friendly person who enjoys talking to his colleagues about things he's interested in when he gets in to work. Let's look at her complaints: 1. He asked her to comment on a scientific paper involving sexual behavior in animals. 2. He told her about a book he was reading on Casanova — specifically that he admired Casanova's adaptability to different situations and skill at gambling (Note: This is the emphasis she herself gives; I'm not downplaying any sexual component) 3. He said he would like to do a course on "sinful" behavior such as gambling, in which he might dress like the devil on some occasion 4. He asked her out to dinner, saying she could bring her husband and he would bring his girlfriend. He showed up without his girlfriend, but did bring another companion in her place. At the end of the night he gave her a hug and kissed her cheek "in the presence of [her] husband" 5. He likes to come into her office in the morning and chat, often about technical fields outside of his degree 6. He initially complimented her along the lines of "You look good in that outfit," she told him she didn't appreciate that sort of talk, and since then he has been more distant and kept his conversation with her strictly to scholarly matters The picture she paints of him is very much that of a friendly guy who likes to talk to his peers about the things he's thinking about. Particularly the incident where she was scandalized that he hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek in front of her husband combined with how upset she was that he'd thought about dressing as the devil makes me think this is a culture clash between somebody extremely conservative and somebody much less so.
alex_c 16y ago
I weep for a society where our fear of being accused of social harassment will outweigh our desire for social interaction, no matter how awkward or inept.

flatline 16y ago

And, it sounds like she has not done the proper thing and told him to knock it off, that it really bothers her, etc. She mentioned several times that she just dodged/avoided him, which is human nature but is exactly the wrong thing to do if you are at the point of writing a letter like this. It sounds like this came to this guy through the administration somewhat of the blue, whether he was clueless about his innuendos or not (my guess is not but who knows). Now he's going to do everything in his power and rally support to defend himself - not at all what the accuser wanted or most likely deserved.

chc 16y ago

None of the other events she describes have an obvious sexual undertone, even if we accept the paper did. She appears to be describing a friendly person who enjoys talking to his colleagues about things he's interested in when he gets in to work. Let's look at her complaints: 1. He asked her to comment on a scientific paper involving sexual behavior in animals. 2. He told her about a book he was reading on Casanova — specifically that he admired Casanova's adaptability to different situations and skill at gambling (Note: This is the emphasis she herself gives; I'm not downplaying any sexual component) 3. He said he would like to do a course on "sinful" behavior such as gambling, in which he might dress like the devil on some occasion 4. He asked her out to dinner, saying she could bring her husband and he would bring his girlfriend. He showed up without his girlfriend, but did bring another companion in her place. At the end of the night he gave her a hug and kissed her cheek "in the presence of [her] husband" 5. He likes to come into her office in the morning and chat, often about technical fields outside of his degree 6. He initially complimented her along the lines of "You look good in that outfit," she told him she didn't appreciate that sort of talk, and since then he has been more distant and kept his conversation with her strictly to scholarly matters The picture she paints of him is very much that of a friendly guy who likes to talk to his peers about the things he's thinking about. Particularly the incident where she was scandalized that he hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek in front of her husband combined with how upset she was that he'd thought about dressing as the devil makes me think this is a culture clash between somebody extremely conservative and somebody much less so.

alex_c 16y ago

I weep for a society where our fear of being accused of social harassment will outweigh our desire for social interaction, no matter how awkward or inept.