4 ms·

sexism aside, that's textbook un-professional behavior and i wouldn't accept it from a female calling people little boys as a pejorative, either. tell your man

sexism aside, that's textbook un-professional behavior and i wouldn't accept it from a female calling people little boys as a pejorative, either. tell your manager about it. it's part of the manager's job to deal with stuff like this. if your manager refuses to do anything about it, either tell your coworker yourself or leave.

sporkenfang 10y ago
Trouble is, we are a fifteen person startup and my boss is a friend of that guy's from way back. I honestly would feel odd mentioning it. There's no way to couch it in "what if a hypothetical person..." because he's known this guy for longer than the company has existed.
- tupshin 10y ago
  By passively accepting this situation your are part of the problem. Morality aside, your coworker that denigrates employees by calling them girls is opening your 15 person startup to justifiable lawsuits (discrimination and hostile work environment) that could easily shut it down. The fact that the main problem source is friends with your boss makes it a more challenging conversation, but in no way alleviates your responsibility of having it.
- azernik 10y ago
  Sit down and talk with the boss. Sure, he may find it harder to intervene when it's a friend, but he may also have a lot more leverage over a friend than he would over an average employee - namely, the threat of shaming among their shared friends.
  - sporkenfang 10y ago
    The problem I'm having with it is he has to know this guy does this. It's not exactly subtle or I likely would not have noticed. He's been in the room before when it happened, and the two of them go out for drinks on Fridays and such all the time. I think it is not a problem for him or he would have pulled the guy aside and told him.
    - raspasov 10y ago
      You should probably find a new startup to join/start.
      - sporkenfang 10y ago
        That's my plan actually. Once I have nothing to lose I'm going to tell the guy he's being an asshole to the women engineers and ask if he'd consider not doing that because it's a shitty way to treat anyone. Preferably with boss present.
    - azernik 10y ago
      He may be in denial about other people's perceptions. You talked about bringing it up after you have an escape plan - make sure you're bringing it up with the boss too.

sporkenfang 10y ago

Trouble is, we are a fifteen person startup and my boss is a friend of that guy's from way back. I honestly would feel odd mentioning it. There's no way to couch it in "what if a hypothetical person..." because he's known this guy for longer than the company has existed.

tupshin 10y ago
By passively accepting this situation your are part of the problem. Morality aside, your coworker that denigrates employees by calling them girls is opening your 15 person startup to justifiable lawsuits (discrimination and hostile work environment) that could easily shut it down. The fact that the main problem source is friends with your boss makes it a more challenging conversation, but in no way alleviates your responsibility of having it.
azernik 10y ago
Sit down and talk with the boss. Sure, he may find it harder to intervene when it's a friend, but he may also have a lot more leverage over a friend than he would over an average employee - namely, the threat of shaming among their shared friends.
- sporkenfang 10y ago
  The problem I'm having with it is he has to know this guy does this. It's not exactly subtle or I likely would not have noticed. He's been in the room before when it happened, and the two of them go out for drinks on Fridays and such all the time. I think it is not a problem for him or he would have pulled the guy aside and told him.
  - raspasov 10y ago
    You should probably find a new startup to join/start.
    - sporkenfang 10y ago
      That's my plan actually. Once I have nothing to lose I'm going to tell the guy he's being an asshole to the women engineers and ask if he'd consider not doing that because it's a shitty way to treat anyone. Preferably with boss present.
  - azernik 10y ago
    He may be in denial about other people's perceptions. You talked about bringing it up after you have an escape plan - make sure you're bringing it up with the boss too.