As you predicted, I do think you're being unfair to her. Relationships and happiness are tricky things -- if happiness does not come from externalities, can you

As you predicted, I do think you're being unfair to her. Relationships and happiness are tricky things -- if happiness does not come from externalities, can you not control your own thoughts, construct your own internal reality, and be happy based on that? Likewise, aren't relationships defined by feelings, not external successes, so dealing with the other person in _any_ capacity defines the relationship, and therefore its success? I oversimplify, but it's something to think about. More to the point, what I read was a woman who heard a line influenced by society, and decided she wanted to deal with it in a way that would force her husband to decide whether he really meant that. My feelings are rarely so clearly defined that I can reduced them to a few sentences, and I'll often collapse them to a saying because it's accurate enough. Frustration is one of the hardest to pin down, and I don't think it's unreasonable of her to say, "I hear that you're unhappy, but I don't think I'm the cause." Of course, just saying this isn't productive, for exactly the reason you mentioned: you can't tell somebody "You're wrong" when they express their feelings. So she did what she could -- she distanced herself from the turmoil, and she tried to let her husband figure out exactly what the problem was. If it truly was their marriage, he would grow distance, and the subsequent departure would be easier on him. My guess, which fits with the events, is that he found the distance didn't quell his frustration, and re-engaging with his family at his own pace actually brought him some happiness. Relationships are so close to our emotional core that when something goes wrong, it shows up in them. Like failing at work will make us unhappy even after we go home, lacking fulfillment from our hobbies and career can appear to show up in a relationship. Good relationships recognize this, and can survive an event like the one described in the article.