Your last sentence comes pretty close. I have several passionate 'hobbies' that are each rather time-consuming, let alone all put together. I can't imagine ev

Your last sentence comes pretty close. I have several passionate 'hobbies' that are each rather time-consuming, let alone all put together. I can't imagine even continuing a conversation with a woman after she'd suggested I give something up that I considered a part of me (and of course, in turn, I would pay her exactly the same respect). She would have to harmonize with who I am and what I do; but between two people with two sets of motives it is much easier to introduce dissonance. So in my case it is not about completion or finding happiness, it is simply about finding a pairing that adds more to both people's existing lives than it subtracts. You're probably right that she'd have to have a similarly driven independence and be unusually low maintenance. Tall order, I know, but unless the terms make both people better, I can't strike the bargain :)