well, its healthy to reflect on our past and try to do better in the future; it is not so to reflect on our past and use it as a means to punish us in the now o

well, its healthy to reflect on our past and try to do better in the future; it is not so to reflect on our past and use it as a means to punish us in the now or in the future. The trouble stems from thinking you should have done something, and did not, and that you are somehow infallible. In truth, there are a lot of things one COULD do, but few are absolute SHOULD's. My cat died very recently - and I've been working through the thinkings of if I could have been a better owner, if I reciprocated his unwavering love enough, if I could have caught his sickness sooner, if I was "good enough" and so on. And yes. There ARE things I could have done differently. But I'm also a human being, and am not a saintly creature without fault or error or oversight. So to expect this ideal from myself in response to what I see as a faultless cat, is cruel punishment to dispense to oneself.