5 ms·
I like to call it a "midlife adjustment" and there is not a person alive who gets to that age who does not have to deal with it at some level - it really is the
by grellas 16y ago
I like to call it a "midlife adjustment" and there is not a person alive who gets to that age who does not have to deal with it at some level - it really is the transitioning from the phase of life where everything points up to that in-between phase where things slow down, age starts to show itself more, and our mortality looms nearer. We all react to it differently but react we do, unless we are beyond feeling.
This piece nicely sets forth how a wife stuck through a pretty tough time with a husband who was adjusting pretty badly. It is a great story of how patience, perseverance, and wisdom can see us through trials. The lesson is that grace should control and guide us where our emotions would lead us to do things we might otherwise regret.
- rjett 16y ago"there is not a person alive who gets to that age who does not have to deal with it at some level" I figure that there are multiple events in everyone's lives like this: quarterlife crisis, midlife crisis, tragedies, deaths of loved ones, broken relationships- these are part of the shared human experience. I occasionally try to remind myself that in all likelihood, I'll have to go through each one of these situations at some point in life. If I mentally prepare for them in the present, it usually doesn't take away the pain when I do find my world turned upside down, but it certainly helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel and think more clearly.
- abstractbill 16y agoI'm probably a little unusual in being in my mid-30s and still not having experienced the death of a loved one. I try to tell myself it's inevitable, but I can't bring myself to really believe it - I think unfortunately this means it's going to hit me pretty hard when it actually happens.
- kristiandupont 16y agoI am not disagreeing with you but can I just say that you can really only know how it affected you - and as it felt so natural it is easy to assume that everybody is affected in a similar way. I remember reading a pedophile stating that all men were attracted to young girls, deep down in their hearts. Anyone who denied it would be lying, to their surroundings or themselves. It's easy to see how someone who has such desires would think that it applies to everybody because it feels so ingrained. As I said, I am not disagreeing with your point, just making an observation about how easy it is to see one self as the norm.
- ghshephard 16y agoI think it's a bit of a stretch to state "not a person alive who gets to that age..." - The whole mid-life crisis thing is a function of societies that are a little higher up in Mazlo's hierarchy. I assure you that the significant part of humanity that is trying to track down enough food, clean water, or even a warm place to sleep each night - let alone adequate medical care or education, doesn't suffer from ennui. They, of course, suffer from hunger, thirst, and exposure - problems, yes, but they certainly have clear priorities. Sometime happiness suffers when we are provided everything that we need, and we end up asking ourselves, "Isn't there more?"
- alanh 16y ago(Maslow’s.) Yes, very true, and perhaps a great illustration of how we humans haven’t yet evolved quite enough to deal with the very different challenges the affluent nations deal with so soon after we as a species were struggling for survival.
- sliverstorm 16y ago> Sometime happiness suffers when we are provided everything that we need, and we end up asking ourselves, "Isn't there more?" Which is why sometimes instead of doing great science or cool projects I wonder if perhaps a more old-fashioned life would be a good choice. Modern medical assistance maybe, but if you have to work to survive every day, I find that does wonders for your happiness.
- metachris 16y ago> I assure you that the significant part of humanity that is trying to track down enough food, clean water, or even a warm place to sleep each night - let alone adequate medical care or education, doesn't suffer from ennui. They, of course, suffer from hunger, thirst, and exposure - problems, yes, but they certainly have clear priorities. Maybe they don't suffer from ennui, but why do you come to the conclusion that they do not get a mid-life crisis? Surely they notice the decline of physical strength too. I certainly think that also people not provided with anything necessary may ask themselves at some point "isn't there more?".
- JoeAltmaier 16y agoI just changed startups. Everything was new and interesting again! 51 this fall, still no emotional meltdown, still with wife of 25 years. Startups are the solution!