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Absolutely, it's rarely one way. But I've been a young nerd with nerd friends, then working with nerds. By some twisted fate, life forced me to improve my peo

Absolutely, it's rarely one way. But I've been a young nerd with nerd friends, then working with nerds. By some twisted fate, life forced me to improve my people skill a lot. It was painful, I didn't ask for it, but now I'm glad it happened. Now I still have a big nerd entourage, because I like to be surrounded by people smarter than me. But I can't help but notice all the things they do that drive others away. Things I used to do. And this things are linked to they nerdy skills. E.G: - they don't play artificial social games - they don't try to dress up - they are straight forward and honest And they are because it would not make sense for them to be otherwise. It would not be logical. I would be stupid. A waste. Useless. So they don't do it. They also usually have a strong ability to feel, connect with people. But they also use they intellect to deal with those instead of knowing how to manage their emotions. But using a screwdriver to nail something is inefficient. And people are so overdoing it. Touching, making noise, taking attention, expressing themself in overwhelming ways. This is utter nonsense to them. It takes a toll. So they take a distance. And the world is always agitated, filled with unimportant things, requiring to switch context, to take stances on unnecessary things. So they stay in their head. And people are petty. Why would anyone not do what's best if they know it is ? Why would not somebody work for the group ? Why would somebody purposely destroy something ? Pick up on someone ? This is mean, it makes no sense. And why would they not use proper words. Understand this efficient sentence ? Get the reference to this book / movie that is so good ? Talk about those stuff, sport / terrible tv show / cars that are such bullshit. Ignore scientific evidences to run their life ? So they separate themself from part of the population. These traits, I see them over, and over. But it's what allow them to analyze. It's what allow them to concentrate. To remove clutter. To categorize. To extract. To model systems. To abstract. To understand. To solve problems. To bring solution. To makes things better. As usual, generality is not reality. But this is my experience of it.

sixdisk 10y ago
These traits you describe, you say they are a side effect of good reasoning skills. I agree that people who think more methodically are more susceptible to these traits, however, I think they are actually characteristic of a certain immaturity in one's reasoning abilities. To ask : "Why would anyone not do what's best if they know it is?", and to have no clue of an answer, would imply a lack of reasoning ability, rather than a surplus of it. Likewise for the other questions you suggest. I think this way of thinking is very natural to a young mind who finds the world overly complicated and is attracted to the logical nature of subjects like maths. It is a sort of escape, to mentally write off everything that is not clean and simple as "illogical". Clinging to that world view for long time would require serious cognitive dissonance though. It is a crutch that those with a 'problem solving' mindset hopefully use for a while before seeing things with a more subtlety. I don't claim to know what reasoning maturity looks like, but I believe embracing your humanity and own fallibility, and understanding the motivations of others (especially those you dislike / disagree with) are not trivial elements of it. I do feel like we are on a similar page though, since you are describing the traits of others, not your own, and you say you are happy to have developed your people skills. Still, I worry that explaining these traits away as the result of above average intellect is some sort of enabling. It's the narrative they need to stay in place so they don't have to change. IQ becomes a justification for being detached and uncaring.
- sametmax 10y ago
  > IQ becomes a justification for being detached and uncaring. I see your point. But I think some things are like a color you never saw and can't understand until you see it for the first time. In a sense, it's lack of maturity because it's a lack of experience. You can wait for the experience to reach them, or you can offer them to practice it. The second way is quicker and more reliable.
  - sixdisk 10y ago
    I agree. I don't think you can get past that stage without a few 'aha' moments that make you rethink things. The mindset might be a bit of a trap because it can make you more isolated, which could then make those 'aha' moments less likely. In that position, you're right, waiting for it to fix itself won't be very effective so a more proactive approach sounds better.

sixdisk 10y ago

These traits you describe, you say they are a side effect of good reasoning skills. I agree that people who think more methodically are more susceptible to these traits, however, I think they are actually characteristic of a certain immaturity in one's reasoning abilities. To ask : "Why would anyone not do what's best if they know it is?", and to have no clue of an answer, would imply a lack of reasoning ability, rather than a surplus of it. Likewise for the other questions you suggest. I think this way of thinking is very natural to a young mind who finds the world overly complicated and is attracted to the logical nature of subjects like maths. It is a sort of escape, to mentally write off everything that is not clean and simple as "illogical". Clinging to that world view for long time would require serious cognitive dissonance though. It is a crutch that those with a 'problem solving' mindset hopefully use for a while before seeing things with a more subtlety. I don't claim to know what reasoning maturity looks like, but I believe embracing your humanity and own fallibility, and understanding the motivations of others (especially those you dislike / disagree with) are not trivial elements of it. I do feel like we are on a similar page though, since you are describing the traits of others, not your own, and you say you are happy to have developed your people skills. Still, I worry that explaining these traits away as the result of above average intellect is some sort of enabling. It's the narrative they need to stay in place so they don't have to change. IQ becomes a justification for being detached and uncaring.

sametmax 10y ago
> IQ becomes a justification for being detached and uncaring. I see your point. But I think some things are like a color you never saw and can't understand until you see it for the first time. In a sense, it's lack of maturity because it's a lack of experience. You can wait for the experience to reach them, or you can offer them to practice it. The second way is quicker and more reliable.
- sixdisk 10y ago
  I agree. I don't think you can get past that stage without a few 'aha' moments that make you rethink things. The mindset might be a bit of a trap because it can make you more isolated, which could then make those 'aha' moments less likely. In that position, you're right, waiting for it to fix itself won't be very effective so a more proactive approach sounds better.