6 ms·

Alarm goes off at 6. I hit snooze 12 times until it's about 7. I half doze, half ruminate on why I can't just get out of bed at 6. The hour I steal from myse

Alarm goes off at 6. I hit snooze 12 times until it's about 7. I half doze, half ruminate on why I can't just get out of bed at 6. The hour I steal from myself gives me immeasurable pleasure. Around 7 I make it down into the bathroom, where I check political news for about a half hour. I ruminate on how unhealthy my eating habits are. I take a shower, and get out of the house by 8. On the ride in, I try to use positive thinking to set the tone for the day, but I generally fail and focus on negative thoughts. I obsess about whether living and working on the Internet have caused a reverse personal renaissance. Often I grab a high carb, high fat bagel and cream cheese, and large coffee. Once I'm in, I log onto here for a half hour, check reddit, and try to force myself to "feel motivated". I hop onto Lync, and the underlings tell me about drama from their mid 20s lives. I get jealous of them and all the experiences they could be having, but they're locked up in the same corporation I am. We do fake smiles and get lots of coffee. I do agile meetings and track my own progress in a little web app. Once per week, a chart is mailed based off metrics I self assigned, to my manager and the director. By 11am I start to decide if I am going to write any code for that day. If I haven't started, I get overwhelmed. Lately I have panic attacks, but I have a new doctor who tells me to stop eating carbs and drinking coffee. I lie to her and tell her I am, and then get those items on the way back from the appointment as a reward. Tell me I'm not as alone as that felt

fratlas 10y ago
Why do you think experiences are limited to mid twenties? What kind of experiences are you talking about
- cableshaft 10y ago
  Probably parties, concerts, impromptu weekend trips, paying to crawl through mud for five miles, side hustles, short term relationships, and the drama involved with any of those. That stuff tends to die way down for most people in their 30s.
  - dpweb 10y ago
    Easy way to end ALL those: Get married have kids
  - K0SM0S 10y ago
    I personally found (34 here) that this cliche is either a pile of poop, or badly worded for what it actually means. It's not that we don't do these things after 30 or even 40, it's how we do them (hint: more means, wiser/less stupid about it 'cause been there, done that). Now there's a historic truth to the cliche, but let's not pretend this is 1960 still, not even 1990. As we near the 2020's, socially everybody may work (M+F), everybody may change diapers, everybody may get drunk/high even after 40. It's not frowned upon anymore to just live, so what do you know, people just go on about living their lives, whether in their twenties, thirties, eighties... "Living" includes drama, it's just the nature of it, and there's this kid inside all of us --but as you age you're just so much better at handling said drama, and turn it into no less memorable but much more comfortable stories. Most incredible nights of my life? Twenties for sure, even late teens. But best nights? On average it's not even funny to compare: at 34 it's so much easier to feel good with oneself and with the world. Which makes me actually much more daring personally, with work (and outside-the-box thinking), with relationships (and quirks), with my very own self. Just to widen the perspective beyond my own anecdotal experience, I wonder: why this change between 20th century and 21st century societies? You see, when you read people from some 2,000 years ago, you quickly realize that they shared the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same life stories. Funny people back then would probably be funny today, and you could hear Romans complaining about foreigners taking their jobs and changing their culture... The human being part of the equation didn't change. What changed is organization, and that's a long talk but essentially I feel that as we gained freedom on an individual basis, we need less "general principles" to guide otherwise clueless peoples --and this is currently still changing fast as even the perimeter/mission of the state and governments is very much in question, from corporate/money influence over citizenry, to wiki and other leaks, passing by individual rights. On the other hand, we begin to observe what the human race really is like, how it behaves, when given the freedom to set its own way (at least in the western part of the world, but surely these days "social progress" is happening everywhere regardless of political/economic freedom). It's 11:30 and I am now going to resume work after this early morning coffee. :}
deleted 10y ago
[deleted]
coldtea 10y ago
Spot on, starting from the snooze part...
gumby 10y ago
I would love to write my intended morning routine. I don't have to write my actual morning routine because you captured its essence perfectly.
wry_discontent 10y ago
Become a writer.
temp246810 10y ago
Fwiw coffee makes an enormous difference for me anxiety wise. The initial boost in energy and mild euphoria is not worth an evening full of anxiety and irritability for me personally. Yes, that's my experience in the evening even if I have coffee at 8am. Anyway just sharing in case anyone is struggling and looking for something to tweak.
- TurboHaskal 10y ago
  Take theanine with your coffee. A ratio of 2:1 theanine to caffeine does wonders.
  - temp246810 10y ago
    Thanks for the tip, I'll look into it and give it a shot. That said, it's nice not relying on coffee everyday for a boost, though there are at least a couple days a week where I could really use it, esp after a night of unpleasant sleep.
- lostlogin 10y ago
  I love coffee and have lots of it. Because I want more I have started adding a little decaf to the mix to sort of thin it out. Works great and tastes good. I'm mixing the green beans then roasting, but there is no reason that pre-roasted couldn't have some mixed in. There is a lot of good stuff in coffee so don't beat yourself up too much.
ddmf 10y ago
That sounds incredibly similar, so much so that I've just had a breakfast wrap and I'm partway through a large coffee... But, at the docs the other day because I'm slightly depressed, and my blood tests come back with elevated liver enzymes so from Monday I'm back to walking in (only 2 miles / 30 mins) that will also block my mcd's addiction. Hopefully.
fil_a_del_fee_a 10y ago
You are far from alone... Likely in the majority. Replace developer with any other type of job.
glenda 10y ago
That was beautiful. Your morning routine is very similar to mine was last year before the company I was working for 'wasn't able to pay me anymore' -- which is possibly one of the best things that could have happened at that time!
- ak39 10y ago
  Excellent. Some more details? What happened afterwards?

fratlas 10y ago

Why do you think experiences are limited to mid twenties? What kind of experiences are you talking about

cableshaft 10y ago
Probably parties, concerts, impromptu weekend trips, paying to crawl through mud for five miles, side hustles, short term relationships, and the drama involved with any of those. That stuff tends to die way down for most people in their 30s.
- dpweb 10y ago
  Easy way to end ALL those: Get married have kids
- K0SM0S 10y ago
  I personally found (34 here) that this cliche is either a pile of poop, or badly worded for what it actually means. It's not that we don't do these things after 30 or even 40, it's how we do them (hint: more means, wiser/less stupid about it 'cause been there, done that). Now there's a historic truth to the cliche, but let's not pretend this is 1960 still, not even 1990. As we near the 2020's, socially everybody may work (M+F), everybody may change diapers, everybody may get drunk/high even after 40. It's not frowned upon anymore to just live, so what do you know, people just go on about living their lives, whether in their twenties, thirties, eighties... "Living" includes drama, it's just the nature of it, and there's this kid inside all of us --but as you age you're just so much better at handling said drama, and turn it into no less memorable but much more comfortable stories. Most incredible nights of my life? Twenties for sure, even late teens. But best nights? On average it's not even funny to compare: at 34 it's so much easier to feel good with oneself and with the world. Which makes me actually much more daring personally, with work (and outside-the-box thinking), with relationships (and quirks), with my very own self. Just to widen the perspective beyond my own anecdotal experience, I wonder: why this change between 20th century and 21st century societies? You see, when you read people from some 2,000 years ago, you quickly realize that they shared the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same life stories. Funny people back then would probably be funny today, and you could hear Romans complaining about foreigners taking their jobs and changing their culture... The human being part of the equation didn't change. What changed is organization, and that's a long talk but essentially I feel that as we gained freedom on an individual basis, we need less "general principles" to guide otherwise clueless peoples --and this is currently still changing fast as even the perimeter/mission of the state and governments is very much in question, from corporate/money influence over citizenry, to wiki and other leaks, passing by individual rights. On the other hand, we begin to observe what the human race really is like, how it behaves, when given the freedom to set its own way (at least in the western part of the world, but surely these days "social progress" is happening everywhere regardless of political/economic freedom). It's 11:30 and I am now going to resume work after this early morning coffee. :}

deleted 10y ago

[deleted]

coldtea 10y ago

Spot on, starting from the snooze part...

gumby 10y ago

I would love to write my intended morning routine. I don't have to write my actual morning routine because you captured its essence perfectly.

wry_discontent 10y ago

Become a writer.

temp246810 10y ago

Fwiw coffee makes an enormous difference for me anxiety wise. The initial boost in energy and mild euphoria is not worth an evening full of anxiety and irritability for me personally. Yes, that's my experience in the evening even if I have coffee at 8am. Anyway just sharing in case anyone is struggling and looking for something to tweak.

TurboHaskal 10y ago
Take theanine with your coffee. A ratio of 2:1 theanine to caffeine does wonders.
- temp246810 10y ago
  Thanks for the tip, I'll look into it and give it a shot. That said, it's nice not relying on coffee everyday for a boost, though there are at least a couple days a week where I could really use it, esp after a night of unpleasant sleep.
lostlogin 10y ago
I love coffee and have lots of it. Because I want more I have started adding a little decaf to the mix to sort of thin it out. Works great and tastes good. I'm mixing the green beans then roasting, but there is no reason that pre-roasted couldn't have some mixed in. There is a lot of good stuff in coffee so don't beat yourself up too much.

ddmf 10y ago

That sounds incredibly similar, so much so that I've just had a breakfast wrap and I'm partway through a large coffee... But, at the docs the other day because I'm slightly depressed, and my blood tests come back with elevated liver enzymes so from Monday I'm back to walking in (only 2 miles / 30 mins) that will also block my mcd's addiction. Hopefully.

fil_a_del_fee_a 10y ago

You are far from alone... Likely in the majority. Replace developer with any other type of job.

glenda 10y ago

That was beautiful. Your morning routine is very similar to mine was last year before the company I was working for 'wasn't able to pay me anymore' -- which is possibly one of the best things that could have happened at that time!

ak39 10y ago
Excellent. Some more details? What happened afterwards?