You might be like me, having no access to healthcare to get counciling, I would recommend Alanon if you can't afford therapy, its free and sometimes sharing wit

You might be like me, having no access to healthcare to get counciling, I would recommend Alanon if you can't afford therapy, its free and sometimes sharing with other people is more healing than therapy with a "professional." I've been through many horrific things myself, you need to plug into a compassionate community of some kind, the isolation will kill you, you need people you can talk to in person, you need hugs and commiseration and compassion and some loving care from a genuine community.