Turning Uber into a glorified taxi company, compliant with all existing taxi legislation in every jurisdiction worldwide and employing full-time employees with

Turning Uber into a glorified taxi company, compliant with all existing taxi legislation in every jurisdiction worldwide and employing full-time employees with fixed schedules, would either kill it or strip its value so severely as to make it a laughing stock. I have no doubt that heavy-handed regulation could bring such a change. Commenters here and on other submissions seem to complain that such regulation doesn't exist, in particular that Uber doesn't employ full time workers. Maybe I'm missing something. Help me understand what the hyperbolic part is.