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Not your fault, but your comment made me subtly sad that I haven't repaid the same sacrifice and commitment from my family with as much as they deserved. They t
by jat850 10y ago
Not your fault, but your comment made me subtly sad that I haven't repaid the same sacrifice and commitment from my family with as much as they deserved. They too worked very hard to provide and give a good life for me, and through naivety, youth, inexperience, laziness - I pissed a large portion of it away.
I try to do better now, but I think I'll always carry some personal guilt over that. I can't fix the past, but I can work harder and try to correct some of my mistakes.
edit I neglected to note that you mentioned your dad to have passed. Take reassurance in that a brief comment on the internet, I think you've done him proud.
- cushychicken 10y agoIt's a debt that's generally paid forward, not back. You still have a shot.
- jat850 10y agoYou're right, of course. And that's what I will try to do with current and future opportunities and choices. I appreciate the perspective and encouragement.
- vr46 10y agoThanks for the sentiment - much appreciated. I feel like I've pissed away decades through all the things you describe, but in reality, they're just paths or routes to where you, me, we are now. The other poster pointed out quite rightly that this is a debt paid forward - so just figure it out from here, right?
- jat850 10y agoThat's a good point of view to take. If I hadn't made some of mistakes, I also may not have learned some valuable lessons - about myself and others.
- ridgeguy 10y agoMost parents know this about their children, that their sacrifices may go unappreciated in full until their kids pass some ill-defined maturity/life milestones. They did it for you anyway, and doubtless on the whole, gladly. As another poster noted, you can pay it forward. That's likely what your parents did.
- jat850 10y agoI suspect you're right. I realize that I'm very lucky to have parents as good as I do, and just hope I can do as much for others in my future as they did for me. Including them, if and when they ever need it.
- pm 10y agoI relate, and I think I did okay with what I was given, but I think I could've done better. However, the thing that's helped me the most is to learn from the mistake once, and then leave it all behind. It has always been easier said than done of course, but it's gotten easier over time; I hope you allow yourself the latitude to do the same.
- jat850 10y agoI have tried to do similarly, although I do sometimes have a habit of carrying guilt a long time - and it can occasionally have the side effect of getting in the way of fully moving past mistakes and into doing better. It's something to work on.