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And when is the issue of feminist overreach discussed, except when a feminist's actions have triggered discussion? Do you have a better "room"? When people lik

And when is the issue of feminist overreach discussed, except when a feminist's actions have triggered discussion? Do you have a better "room"? When people like you try to shut down debate by saying now is not the time, all you do is make things worse. That's how Trump wins: he doesn't try and "read the room" or bring things up at the "appropriate" times. He doesn't care about these rules social-justice types try and impose at all, because he knows there is never going to be a time when they're happy for their behaviour to be discussed.

FeepingCreature 10y ago
Look. :sigh: I see what you're saying, okay? And I can totally empathize. But look. Here's an apparently unrelated article on Magic the Gathering: http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/misc/2005_Stuck_In_The_Middle_With_Bruce.html http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/misc/2005_Stuck_In_The_Mi... It says that if you're facing a challenging task and under stress, like winning a game, there's an instinct to lose. I think the idea is that winning takes effort, and so we have a bias that makes us go "well, I'll charge all in and see if it works," and then it predictably doesn't work and we retreat into a sort of "hah, I knew I would lose!" because by taking the risk, we sort of licensed losing in our minds. Like, "you didn't beat me, I beat myself!" type of thing. This is not the place to bring the topic up. I don't know if there is a better place to bring the topic up, but I feel like what motivates you to bring it up here may be something similar to that article, where you know you're going to get downvoted but at least you know why, and expect it, and that makes it acceptable. If you want to actually win, you have to avoid reactions like that. You have to be patient, and wait for the right time, and then use the right level of forcefulness, and signal in the right way, and make the right concessions, and it's hard, nobody is saying it's not, but would you rather lose on your terms or win?

FeepingCreature 10y ago

Look. :sigh: I see what you're saying, okay? And I can totally empathize. But look. Here's an apparently unrelated article on Magic the Gathering: http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/misc/2005_Stuck_In_The_Middle_With_Bruce.html http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/misc/2005_Stuck_In_The_Mi... It says that if you're facing a challenging task and under stress, like winning a game, there's an instinct to lose. I think the idea is that winning takes effort, and so we have a bias that makes us go "well, I'll charge all in and see if it works," and then it predictably doesn't work and we retreat into a sort of "hah, I knew I would lose!" because by taking the risk, we sort of licensed losing in our minds. Like, "you didn't beat me, I beat myself!" type of thing. This is not the place to bring the topic up. I don't know if there is a better place to bring the topic up, but I feel like what motivates you to bring it up here may be something similar to that article, where you know you're going to get downvoted but at least you know why, and expect it, and that makes it acceptable. If you want to actually win, you have to avoid reactions like that. You have to be patient, and wait for the right time, and then use the right level of forcefulness, and signal in the right way, and make the right concessions, and it's hard, nobody is saying it's not, but would you rather lose on your terms or win?