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I don't think this should be downvoted, I think it is essentially correct. Only people who are 'learned communicators' have the amount of self control to both

I don't think this should be downvoted, I think it is essentially correct. Only people who are 'learned communicators' have the amount of self control to both 'not swear' but also use their communication skills to curry favour, which may involve manipulating the truth subtly or egregiously. About 50% of the time, the 'raw truth' is a little rugged, and smart communicators learn how to 'change the tone' of information so that it's more palatable. I don't think it's a matter of 'energy' at all, it's just behaviour. Also consider this one: Germans are known for being 'more direct' - and to an 'Anglo' person, their directness can sometimes be interpreted as 'blunt' (You've heard the saying 'honest to a fault'?), sometimes ruffling feathers. The German may perceive Anglo 'redirection' as somewhat deceptive. But in German - there is usually only 'one way' to say something - the language is very strict, and you usually don't have a lot of wiggle room. So - aside from any cultural issues - language itself really shapes the way information is communicated.

maxerickson 10y ago
This 'learned communicators' thing is silly. Pretty much everyone knows they aren't supposed to swear at a priest. Many of the ones that do anyway are being transgressive.
- edblarney 10y ago
  Obviously everyone knows not to swear in front of their Mothers-in-laws or in front of customers ... But some people are far and away better communicators than others. Far and away. It's the big soft skill that a lot of 'inside only people' don't have, and often don't recognize or value in 'outside facing people' at the company :).
Retra 10y ago
It has nothing to do with self control. It is a matter of culture. Right now, I am not swearing at all. But in other contexts, I swear easily. Because swearing has different value in different contexts. Here, it doesn't add much. And when I do swear, it's not for lack of self control. It's because I'm making a stand about what my priorities are. Which are usually that the subject of the discussion is far more important than the manner in which it is discussed or the personal, fleeting discomfort of any bystanders or participants.

maxerickson 10y ago

This 'learned communicators' thing is silly. Pretty much everyone knows they aren't supposed to swear at a priest. Many of the ones that do anyway are being transgressive.

edblarney 10y ago
Obviously everyone knows not to swear in front of their Mothers-in-laws or in front of customers ... But some people are far and away better communicators than others. Far and away. It's the big soft skill that a lot of 'inside only people' don't have, and often don't recognize or value in 'outside facing people' at the company :).

Retra 10y ago

It has nothing to do with self control. It is a matter of culture. Right now, I am not swearing at all. But in other contexts, I swear easily. Because swearing has different value in different contexts. Here, it doesn't add much. And when I do swear, it's not for lack of self control. It's because I'm making a stand about what my priorities are. Which are usually that the subject of the discussion is far more important than the manner in which it is discussed or the personal, fleeting discomfort of any bystanders or participants.