4 ms·

The people who cannot spend energy to control themselves and therefore curse are less prone to using self-control-dependent strategy of lies and deception. Wow

by thesz 10y ago

The people who cannot spend energy to control themselves and therefore curse are less prone to using self-control-dependent strategy of lies and deception. Wowsers.

1ris 10y ago
90% of psychology looks obvious afterwards. Probably 90% of science.
Peaker 10y ago
The people who need not spend energy to control their cursing have more energy left to lie. These kinds of after-thought rationalizations can always work both ways. If you find yourself never surprised by any finding, you are probably doing this a lot.
edblarney 10y ago
I don't think this should be downvoted, I think it is essentially correct. Only people who are 'learned communicators' have the amount of self control to both 'not swear' but also use their communication skills to curry favour, which may involve manipulating the truth subtly or egregiously. About 50% of the time, the 'raw truth' is a little rugged, and smart communicators learn how to 'change the tone' of information so that it's more palatable. I don't think it's a matter of 'energy' at all, it's just behaviour. Also consider this one: Germans are known for being 'more direct' - and to an 'Anglo' person, their directness can sometimes be interpreted as 'blunt' (You've heard the saying 'honest to a fault'?), sometimes ruffling feathers. The German may perceive Anglo 'redirection' as somewhat deceptive. But in German - there is usually only 'one way' to say something - the language is very strict, and you usually don't have a lot of wiggle room. So - aside from any cultural issues - language itself really shapes the way information is communicated.
- maxerickson 10y ago
  This 'learned communicators' thing is silly. Pretty much everyone knows they aren't supposed to swear at a priest. Many of the ones that do anyway are being transgressive.
  - edblarney 10y ago
    Obviously everyone knows not to swear in front of their Mothers-in-laws or in front of customers ... But some people are far and away better communicators than others. Far and away. It's the big soft skill that a lot of 'inside only people' don't have, and often don't recognize or value in 'outside facing people' at the company :).
- Retra 10y ago
  It has nothing to do with self control. It is a matter of culture. Right now, I am not swearing at all. But in other contexts, I swear easily. Because swearing has different value in different contexts. Here, it doesn't add much. And when I do swear, it's not for lack of self control. It's because I'm making a stand about what my priorities are. Which are usually that the subject of the discussion is far more important than the manner in which it is discussed or the personal, fleeting discomfort of any bystanders or participants.
mark_edward 10y ago
Lying in the abstract is not a sign of self-control, nor is swearing a sign of a lack of it. Swearing and/or lying in specific contexts, possibly. Considering the context is facebook, i doubt swearing is a good proxy for lack of self-control
jdietrich 10y ago
I don't swear because I lack self-control. I swear because those words are powerful and useful. "Bullshit" is an immeasurably better word than any of the alternatives. Some people are entirely deserving of the label "arsehole" or "bastard". I fundamentally distrust people who don't swear. To me it has always signalled priggishness, timidity and conformity. People who see swearing as a sign of poor education or a limited vocabulary are, in my experience, invariably petty, snobbish and bigoted. If I want an honest opinion, I'll ask someone who isn't afraid to speak plainly. If I need someone to help me out in a difficult situation, I'll call on someone who swears like a wounded pirate - they're not going to be afraid to get their hands dirty. We are sacks of meat that fuck and piss and shit. We always will be. If you want to pretend otherwise then good luck to you, but I don't trust you for a second.
- bshimmin 10y ago
  I swear in certain contexts, especially when I'm using a computer, and I find this statement utterly ridiculous. There are many reasons why people might prefer not to swear - how you were brought up; because you think it exhibits a certain sense of self-control; because you take delight in using circumlocutory expressions which avoid swearing (I'd be more interested, frankly, in a speaker who says "unmitigated bunkum" than one who says "bullshit"); because you work in a context in which swearing is inappropriate... To say that all of those reasons make people "priggish" or, worse, untrustworthy is just very silly.
- vixen99 10y ago
  And I'd so like to have your trust.
- hawski 10y ago
  Swearing may be honest, because you speak what you think. At the same time it may be like a fire hose. I would prefer more distilled thoughts. One of my previous superiors sweared a lot, but when there was something to clarify the conversation took another route. I could ask him a question and then he would freeze and not even a sound would come out of his mouth. The silence could take such a while that I would start to think that maybe he haven't heared me. Then he would slowly and steadly respond - usually not needing to stop midsentence to reformulate (as I usually do). Those calm responses usually did not contain swearing. There where a few colleagues that would just not stop talking until he would respond and then he would tell them to shut up.

by thesz 10y ago

The people who cannot spend energy to control themselves and therefore curse are less prone to using self-control-dependent strategy of lies and deception. Wowsers.

1ris 10y ago

90% of psychology looks obvious afterwards. Probably 90% of science.

Peaker 10y ago

The people who need not spend energy to control their cursing have more energy left to lie. These kinds of after-thought rationalizations can always work both ways. If you find yourself never surprised by any finding, you are probably doing this a lot.

edblarney 10y ago

I don't think this should be downvoted, I think it is essentially correct. Only people who are 'learned communicators' have the amount of self control to both 'not swear' but also use their communication skills to curry favour, which may involve manipulating the truth subtly or egregiously. About 50% of the time, the 'raw truth' is a little rugged, and smart communicators learn how to 'change the tone' of information so that it's more palatable. I don't think it's a matter of 'energy' at all, it's just behaviour. Also consider this one: Germans are known for being 'more direct' - and to an 'Anglo' person, their directness can sometimes be interpreted as 'blunt' (You've heard the saying 'honest to a fault'?), sometimes ruffling feathers. The German may perceive Anglo 'redirection' as somewhat deceptive. But in German - there is usually only 'one way' to say something - the language is very strict, and you usually don't have a lot of wiggle room. So - aside from any cultural issues - language itself really shapes the way information is communicated.

maxerickson 10y ago
This 'learned communicators' thing is silly. Pretty much everyone knows they aren't supposed to swear at a priest. Many of the ones that do anyway are being transgressive.
- edblarney 10y ago
  Obviously everyone knows not to swear in front of their Mothers-in-laws or in front of customers ... But some people are far and away better communicators than others. Far and away. It's the big soft skill that a lot of 'inside only people' don't have, and often don't recognize or value in 'outside facing people' at the company :).
Retra 10y ago
It has nothing to do with self control. It is a matter of culture. Right now, I am not swearing at all. But in other contexts, I swear easily. Because swearing has different value in different contexts. Here, it doesn't add much. And when I do swear, it's not for lack of self control. It's because I'm making a stand about what my priorities are. Which are usually that the subject of the discussion is far more important than the manner in which it is discussed or the personal, fleeting discomfort of any bystanders or participants.

mark_edward 10y ago

Lying in the abstract is not a sign of self-control, nor is swearing a sign of a lack of it. Swearing and/or lying in specific contexts, possibly. Considering the context is facebook, i doubt swearing is a good proxy for lack of self-control

jdietrich 10y ago

I don't swear because I lack self-control. I swear because those words are powerful and useful. "Bullshit" is an immeasurably better word than any of the alternatives. Some people are entirely deserving of the label "arsehole" or "bastard". I fundamentally distrust people who don't swear. To me it has always signalled priggishness, timidity and conformity. People who see swearing as a sign of poor education or a limited vocabulary are, in my experience, invariably petty, snobbish and bigoted. If I want an honest opinion, I'll ask someone who isn't afraid to speak plainly. If I need someone to help me out in a difficult situation, I'll call on someone who swears like a wounded pirate - they're not going to be afraid to get their hands dirty. We are sacks of meat that fuck and piss and shit. We always will be. If you want to pretend otherwise then good luck to you, but I don't trust you for a second.

bshimmin 10y ago
I swear in certain contexts, especially when I'm using a computer, and I find this statement utterly ridiculous. There are many reasons why people might prefer not to swear - how you were brought up; because you think it exhibits a certain sense of self-control; because you take delight in using circumlocutory expressions which avoid swearing (I'd be more interested, frankly, in a speaker who says "unmitigated bunkum" than one who says "bullshit"); because you work in a context in which swearing is inappropriate... To say that all of those reasons make people "priggish" or, worse, untrustworthy is just very silly.
vixen99 10y ago
And I'd so like to have your trust.
hawski 10y ago
Swearing may be honest, because you speak what you think. At the same time it may be like a fire hose. I would prefer more distilled thoughts. One of my previous superiors sweared a lot, but when there was something to clarify the conversation took another route. I could ask him a question and then he would freeze and not even a sound would come out of his mouth. The silence could take such a while that I would start to think that maybe he haven't heared me. Then he would slowly and steadly respond - usually not needing to stop midsentence to reformulate (as I usually do). Those calm responses usually did not contain swearing. There where a few colleagues that would just not stop talking until he would respond and then he would tell them to shut up.