For me it really is about making sure I'm being an attentive and good, equal(ish) partner for my wife as we age together and things change. She does the same. B

For me it really is about making sure I'm being an attentive and good, equal(ish) partner for my wife as we age together and things change. She does the same. Both men and women want consistency, especially in marriage. Inconsistency makes people uneasy and sometimes just doesn't meet expectations based on their prior time together. I don't think it's bad to challenge your partner either if their behavior or contributions to the relationship change over time; it's just a discussion if you've built a good relationship in the first place. But if you harp on the past and use it to beat down the other person, yes that's definitely bad. Regarding the roles for maintaining the romance - it can differ on the relationship. From the article, it seems the husband's role and contribution is to be a good dad, a good team player and attentive to her idiosyncrasies. She appreciates that and finds it sexy and attractive. That's his role in maintaining the romance. I'm not sure of her role for maintaining the romance; she doesn't get into it. But they both play parts in the success or failure of romance, regardless of their definition. Regarding the video - I like it and can relate; Thanks for sharing. Some good stuff from the video: > Feeling obligated means, you don't feel responsible for that, but others are demanding that from you > If you feel obligated to somebody.... today or tomorrow you will take revenge on them..... You won't be able to handle ... somebody demanding part of you and sitting inside of you nagging > Go for completion as early as possible. Let you be free from all obligations Both my wife and myself have actually found ourselves at times putting obligations on ourselves when there's no reason to. That can cause stress and impact our relationship. And once in awhile we do make each other feel obligated to do things. Sometimes her pushing me to an "obligation" to go out with her after dinner during the week to meet a new business acquaintance. I don't like obligations pushed on me and it has gotten me in trouble with my wife. I've had conversations with her and let her know that it feels like she is demanding things from me, not asking and that since I run several companies I usually just want to go home and spend time with her relaxing; that's all. I also expect her to check with me before trying to organize these types of events because that's just courteous. She's been very good with understanding that and I do the same with her. We're going on 10 years so we've gotten way better at discussing these things and also being more mindful of each other.