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You're creating a scenario where there are two options. In my experience that is almost never the case. Sometimes you have many options, sometimes you have none

You're creating a scenario where there are two options. In my experience that is almost never the case. Sometimes you have many options, sometimes you have none. You're making assumptions about how family comes to be, who you would define as family, and making assumptions on what a person's obligations to family should be. In all these cases, you're positing a sort of hegemonic perfect person who has total free agency and no history to contend with. If that's truly you, that's fantastic. Cherish and enjoy that liberation. But just remember that to have that agency, millions of people have struggled without such things. I think it's great that you've made a decision about whether or not to have kids in a purposeful manner. Many people don't, and I wish they would. I have a kid and I wouldn't trade him for any fancy startup or company founding in the world. Different strokes. But it also leads me to believe (and correct me if i'm wrong) you've never had to, or thought to, work and live to serve and enable the lives of another. I think that's totally ok. I'm not judging you there. But I am asking you to consider that others find value in that path, and in our current society, that path is often derided and consider "unsuccessful."

TheOneTrueKyle 10y ago
There are many variables, this is true and unfair of me. It was more to get into the mindset of someone else's thinking. I have however had to work towards someone else's life (maybe not as extreme as a child) and would love nothing other than to serve humanity in a greater way. I ask because I genuinely don't understand this thinking so thank you for taking the time to respond and not down voting into oblivion. People like you really are why I come to this site! Not everyone has good parents. Some people need to still figure things out, even at age 30...
- SandersAK 10y ago
  I honestly really do understand your situation in many ways. I know what it's like to fight for something better, and to feel like you're enduring all the stress you can because you think it's worth it. It's really hard to hear people who don't seem to have this mentality and to see them suffer. "IF only they'd just make this one choice" I find myself saying. But that's not the whole story, and I know that now after a lot of failure to reflect on my own situation. I don't think you should throw that passion away. But I do think, as much as you have learned and gained by getting yourself to a good place in your own way, there's a lot you can gain from pushing yourself to see other angles. Empathy is like a muscle - the more you use it, the stronger and more effective it becomes. and I mean yeah, I think everyone has a lot to figure out, no matter their age!

TheOneTrueKyle 10y ago

There are many variables, this is true and unfair of me. It was more to get into the mindset of someone else's thinking. I have however had to work towards someone else's life (maybe not as extreme as a child) and would love nothing other than to serve humanity in a greater way. I ask because I genuinely don't understand this thinking so thank you for taking the time to respond and not down voting into oblivion. People like you really are why I come to this site! Not everyone has good parents. Some people need to still figure things out, even at age 30...

SandersAK 10y ago
I honestly really do understand your situation in many ways. I know what it's like to fight for something better, and to feel like you're enduring all the stress you can because you think it's worth it. It's really hard to hear people who don't seem to have this mentality and to see them suffer. "IF only they'd just make this one choice" I find myself saying. But that's not the whole story, and I know that now after a lot of failure to reflect on my own situation. I don't think you should throw that passion away. But I do think, as much as you have learned and gained by getting yourself to a good place in your own way, there's a lot you can gain from pushing yourself to see other angles. Empathy is like a muscle - the more you use it, the stronger and more effective it becomes. and I mean yeah, I think everyone has a lot to figure out, no matter their age!