6 ms·

Path to true happiness 'revealed'

45 points by eliot_sykes 16y ago

eliot_sykes 16y ago
The main thing I took away from this article were the 10 recommendations in the grey box towards the end-right-hand-side of the article: * Plant something and nurture it * Count your blessings - at least five - at the end of each day * Take time to talk - have an hour-long conversation with a loved one each week * Phone a friend whom you have not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet up * Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it * Have a good laugh at least once a day * Get physical - exercise for half an hour three times a week * Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day * Cut your TV viewing by half * Spread some kindness - do a good turn for someone every day
- flipbrad 16y ago
  there are so many things to add to that list. My favourites would be: * move away from situations when you don't, on a regular basis, feel like smiling whilst, for example, walking down the road. The world is huge and your spending power relative to many places is vast. Don't be afraid of leaving the rut. * from time to time strip everything away and rebuild. Some of the best forests need wildfires to sprout the seeds cast by trees. Throw junk out. End an overly demanding career. Rebuild things that have been static for a while. * scale your expectations down. Get used to bland, unexotic foods, then reintroduce, gradually, the more exotic treats we have become used to - asian foods, spices, heavy seasoning, etc. Each rediscovery will be amazing * Controlling for everything else, having a bigger house is not normally worth the longer commute, happiness wise. Stay close to work, or find work close to your big house * Live with a large number of people or get to know neighbours * Don't bother with traditional donation-driven charity (pay and forget), which will not make you happy, but do add a social enterprise angle to your work. Take an occasional pay cut to give discounts to needy customers, or even do pro bono work
  - grinich 16y ago
    Great list. If you want to break those into new lines, you need to insert a blank line. More info here: http://news.ycombinator.com/formatdoc http://news.ycombinator.com/formatdoc
    - flipbrad 16y ago
      much appreciated, grinich. didn't find that when i considered an edit - cheers
- potatolicious 16y ago
  > "Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day" Must emphasize this - I find that a lot of times when I'm feeling very blah a surefire fix is to strike up a conversation with a stranger, or at the very least exchange pleasantries. It's depressing how socially disconnected modern life has made us - we live in the densest conglomeration of humans history has ever known, yet we've never been more alone. You will shuffle past thousands of fellow human beings during your daily commute without ever having learned the slightest thing about any one of them. You will all sit silently, absorbed in tedium and boredom while a vast treasure trove of experiences and stories goes unheard you - including your own. I'm not especially social I have to admit - but I think humans are hardwired to desire contact. I cannot overstate the importance of this - it's simply too bad that society has made conversing with strangers a faux pas... even though in my experience most people crave it more than they'd care to admit.
  - jgrahamc 16y ago
    I agree about this. After I read "The Game" and "Rules of The Game" by Neil Strauss (which are about being a pick-up artist) I took away the lesson that the hardest part (at least for me) was walking up to strangers and talking to them. It was amazingly liberating to do it, however. What I do is ask them some question that they could plausibly answer as a way to starting a conversation. I have had very, very, very few bad reactions.
    - ivenkys 16y ago
      Did you try this on the London Tube,ideally at rush hour :-)
      - jgrahamc 16y ago
        No. That doesn't seem like a reasonable environment to start a conversation. There's is an art to it... Basically, if you want to start a conversation with a stranger then I'd recommend doing it in a place where they can 'escape' from you. If you corner them, say on the tube, then they have no means of leaving and hence they will feel as if your approach is hostile. And that's especially true if you are both sitting or face to face. I recommend reading Strauss' book because it's fascinating, but the bottom line is approach people from an angle (not head on and not from behind). Make sure they've got the physical space to leave if they want to, maintain enough distance that you are not in their personal space, and if you do get chatting it can be helpful to indicate in some way that you are only temporarily there talking to them.
- dlnovell 16y ago
  I have been doing several of the items on this list for many years, but recently added regular exercise. I can't possibly express how much of a difference it has made in my life - physically and more importantly mentally. I've had seasonal or sporadic depression since I was a kid but in the last 11 months that I've been working out I've had absolutely none. If anyone out there is wondering which of these items to add to their daily routine, I'd recommend starting with some workouts!
- joubert 16y ago
  I would add something about music and something about art to that list.
ivenkys 16y ago
Just in case someone misses this - this is circa 2005.
- gaius 16y ago
  The rules haven't changed since 2005 BC. 'Cept they didn't have phones or TVs then.
  - ivenkys 16y ago
    I was attempting to be snarky - and not being very good at it - this whole idea of having rules for happiness sounds very cargo cult to me and of course the whole definition of happiness is extremely nebulous.
    - gaius 16y ago
      Well, we're all human. Relating to people and doing exercise make us happy because we're programmed that way.
    - crazydiamond 16y ago
      1. I'd take these more as guidelines or suggestions, then. No harm in trying. 2. I totally agree that there's no standard definition to happiness, but is unhappiness not sort of universal -- i mean pretty standard. Call it unhappiness, dis-ease, or malaise, not feeling good, feeling out of sorts/low -- that kind of thing. Some of these points certainly do help in making someone feel a lot less of these things. I find spreading good cheer - smiling and befriending new people really makes me feel much "happier", and these do not have to be strong/lasting relationships. Showing affection to _animals_ really helps too. I have lots of stray dogs in my area, and i try to befriend them, some really respond lovingly, almost humanly. Doing what i enjoy doing, hobbies is another suggestion. Finally, I'd like to suggest some _meditation_. Keeping quiet, being internally silent for a while -- could be while sitting, lying, or walking in the park. Distancing myself from the constant din of thoughts and emotions and playback of the past. Cheers!
- Tichy 16y ago
failquicker 16y ago
I can't speak for anyone else. But for me, I truly started getting happy when I started "Reveling in Simplicity" Not in a superficial way, not in the "minimal is cool" way. But in the I really don't need much to be happy way. I've moved a LOT. I was in the military. And once I got out, I has a string of businesses I started all over the US. And I use to carry these boxes of "STUFF" with me. My wife too. We had all this crap, that was soooooo important to us. But half the time we never even bothered to unpack it. Finally, we both came to our senses, and sold, gave, or threw most of it away. I hear people talk about "Golden Handcuffs" I know what you mean. I had them. But you know what, I was able to shake them too. So maybe they're not handcuffs. Just decorations. That we like so much we won't take them off. But we can. My family is great now. We live on so much less. And our quality of life is through the roof! If my family was a startup, we would have so much runway our competitors would be shaking in their boots. And just like a startup, that gives you a lot of freedom to experiment. I love to experiment. Simplicity is the key to happiness. At least that's my opinion. Sorry for the rant in the comments. Didn't mean for it to go on so long.
- nazgulnarsil 16y ago
  true happiness is a low burn rate.
  - failquicker 16y ago
    Well said sir.
known 16y ago
Altruism leads to true and everlasting happiness.
richardw 16y ago
I wonder if knowing there is a team of people focused on increasing your happiness, increases your happiness? I'd imagine it's fairly hard to get a double blind test going for this experiment!
- deleted 16y ago
  [deleted]
JoeAltmaier 16y ago
Exercise alone will do most of the job.
ajscherer 16y ago
How did the researches measure peoples' happiness levels?

45 points by eliot_sykes 16y ago

The main thing I took away from this article were the 10 recommendations in the grey box towards the end-right-hand-side of the article: * Plant something and nurture it * Count your blessings - at least five - at the end of each day * Take time to talk - have an hour-long conversation with a loved one each week * Phone a friend whom you have not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet up * Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it * Have a good laugh at least once a day * Get physical - exercise for half an hour three times a week * Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day * Cut your TV viewing by half * Spread some kindness - do a good turn for someone every day

flipbrad 16y ago
there are so many things to add to that list. My favourites would be: * move away from situations when you don't, on a regular basis, feel like smiling whilst, for example, walking down the road. The world is huge and your spending power relative to many places is vast. Don't be afraid of leaving the rut. * from time to time strip everything away and rebuild. Some of the best forests need wildfires to sprout the seeds cast by trees. Throw junk out. End an overly demanding career. Rebuild things that have been static for a while. * scale your expectations down. Get used to bland, unexotic foods, then reintroduce, gradually, the more exotic treats we have become used to - asian foods, spices, heavy seasoning, etc. Each rediscovery will be amazing * Controlling for everything else, having a bigger house is not normally worth the longer commute, happiness wise. Stay close to work, or find work close to your big house * Live with a large number of people or get to know neighbours * Don't bother with traditional donation-driven charity (pay and forget), which will not make you happy, but do add a social enterprise angle to your work. Take an occasional pay cut to give discounts to needy customers, or even do pro bono work
- grinich 16y ago
  Great list. If you want to break those into new lines, you need to insert a blank line. More info here: http://news.ycombinator.com/formatdoc http://news.ycombinator.com/formatdoc
  - flipbrad 16y ago
    much appreciated, grinich. didn't find that when i considered an edit - cheers
potatolicious 16y ago
> "Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day" Must emphasize this - I find that a lot of times when I'm feeling very blah a surefire fix is to strike up a conversation with a stranger, or at the very least exchange pleasantries. It's depressing how socially disconnected modern life has made us - we live in the densest conglomeration of humans history has ever known, yet we've never been more alone. You will shuffle past thousands of fellow human beings during your daily commute without ever having learned the slightest thing about any one of them. You will all sit silently, absorbed in tedium and boredom while a vast treasure trove of experiences and stories goes unheard you - including your own. I'm not especially social I have to admit - but I think humans are hardwired to desire contact. I cannot overstate the importance of this - it's simply too bad that society has made conversing with strangers a faux pas... even though in my experience most people crave it more than they'd care to admit.
- jgrahamc 16y ago
  I agree about this. After I read "The Game" and "Rules of The Game" by Neil Strauss (which are about being a pick-up artist) I took away the lesson that the hardest part (at least for me) was walking up to strangers and talking to them. It was amazingly liberating to do it, however. What I do is ask them some question that they could plausibly answer as a way to starting a conversation. I have had very, very, very few bad reactions.
  - ivenkys 16y ago
    Did you try this on the London Tube,ideally at rush hour :-)
    - jgrahamc 16y ago
      No. That doesn't seem like a reasonable environment to start a conversation. There's is an art to it... Basically, if you want to start a conversation with a stranger then I'd recommend doing it in a place where they can 'escape' from you. If you corner them, say on the tube, then they have no means of leaving and hence they will feel as if your approach is hostile. And that's especially true if you are both sitting or face to face. I recommend reading Strauss' book because it's fascinating, but the bottom line is approach people from an angle (not head on and not from behind). Make sure they've got the physical space to leave if they want to, maintain enough distance that you are not in their personal space, and if you do get chatting it can be helpful to indicate in some way that you are only temporarily there talking to them.
dlnovell 16y ago
I have been doing several of the items on this list for many years, but recently added regular exercise. I can't possibly express how much of a difference it has made in my life - physically and more importantly mentally. I've had seasonal or sporadic depression since I was a kid but in the last 11 months that I've been working out I've had absolutely none. If anyone out there is wondering which of these items to add to their daily routine, I'd recommend starting with some workouts!
joubert 16y ago
I would add something about music and something about art to that list.

ivenkys 16y ago

Just in case someone misses this - this is circa 2005.

gaius 16y ago
The rules haven't changed since 2005 BC. 'Cept they didn't have phones or TVs then.
- ivenkys 16y ago
  I was attempting to be snarky - and not being very good at it - this whole idea of having rules for happiness sounds very cargo cult to me and of course the whole definition of happiness is extremely nebulous.
  - gaius 16y ago
    Well, we're all human. Relating to people and doing exercise make us happy because we're programmed that way.
  - crazydiamond 16y ago
    1. I'd take these more as guidelines or suggestions, then. No harm in trying. 2. I totally agree that there's no standard definition to happiness, but is unhappiness not sort of universal -- i mean pretty standard. Call it unhappiness, dis-ease, or malaise, not feeling good, feeling out of sorts/low -- that kind of thing. Some of these points certainly do help in making someone feel a lot less of these things. I find spreading good cheer - smiling and befriending new people really makes me feel much "happier", and these do not have to be strong/lasting relationships. Showing affection to _animals_ really helps too. I have lots of stray dogs in my area, and i try to befriend them, some really respond lovingly, almost humanly. Doing what i enjoy doing, hobbies is another suggestion. Finally, I'd like to suggest some _meditation_. Keeping quiet, being internally silent for a while -- could be while sitting, lying, or walking in the park. Distancing myself from the constant din of thoughts and emotions and playback of the past. Cheers!
Tichy 16y ago

failquicker 16y ago

I can't speak for anyone else. But for me, I truly started getting happy when I started "Reveling in Simplicity" Not in a superficial way, not in the "minimal is cool" way. But in the I really don't need much to be happy way. I've moved a LOT. I was in the military. And once I got out, I has a string of businesses I started all over the US. And I use to carry these boxes of "STUFF" with me. My wife too. We had all this crap, that was soooooo important to us. But half the time we never even bothered to unpack it. Finally, we both came to our senses, and sold, gave, or threw most of it away. I hear people talk about "Golden Handcuffs" I know what you mean. I had them. But you know what, I was able to shake them too. So maybe they're not handcuffs. Just decorations. That we like so much we won't take them off. But we can. My family is great now. We live on so much less. And our quality of life is through the roof! If my family was a startup, we would have so much runway our competitors would be shaking in their boots. And just like a startup, that gives you a lot of freedom to experiment. I love to experiment. Simplicity is the key to happiness. At least that's my opinion. Sorry for the rant in the comments. Didn't mean for it to go on so long.

nazgulnarsil 16y ago
true happiness is a low burn rate.
- failquicker 16y ago
  Well said sir.

known 16y ago

Altruism leads to true and everlasting happiness.

richardw 16y ago

I wonder if knowing there is a team of people focused on increasing your happiness, increases your happiness? I'd imagine it's fairly hard to get a double blind test going for this experiment!

deleted 16y ago
[deleted]

JoeAltmaier 16y ago

Exercise alone will do most of the job.

ajscherer 16y ago

How did the researches measure peoples' happiness levels?