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When you are depressed, see if there's a serious problem in your life that is causing you to be depressed and devote as much time and energy as you can muster t
by sixo 10y ago
When you are depressed, see if there's a serious problem in your life that is causing you to be depressed and devote as much time and energy as you can muster towards exploring solutions to that problem, even if they entail dramatic life-changing decisions, because that's the kind of problem we're dealing with here.
Examples of such problems: you hate your graduate program. You have no friends in your city and no idea where to look. You are unattractive and wish you weren't. You are skeptical of your faith. You have no activities or hobbies that involve other people and wish you did. You are not as good at software engineering as you want to be. Your job is hell. You fake a character in social situations that makes you hate yourself. You are impotent at facing injustice that you perceive in the world. You are uninspired by the prospects of the career or community available to you. Any of the above + you drink, do drugs, or play video games to avoid dealing with it.
* Another: your career is pointless or selfish
Short term solutions like exercise, making friends, or talking to people, and making something will only fix the depression if they happen to address the actual problem - which there's a good chance they do. And of course, the whole situation can spiral out of control and compromise your ability to do something about it, in which case professional help + drugs can make all the difference.
- taway_1212 10y agoA lot of these issues can stem from overthinking/staying within your own bauble of thoughts (for example, no job in a developed country can be described as "hell", so if one thinks that, he's clearly too sensitive or too inwardly focused). Making something can help in that it can make someone stop thinking those harmful thoughts.
- sixo 10y agoGood point. Solutions to the problem include making it not-a-problem anymore.
- dspillett 10y agoOr just making it not-a-problem temporarily. Or even just less-of-a-problem temporarily. Enough difference for you to look up from the rut you've been digging yourself into, assess the situation with a clearer head, and start towards a longer term plan to address the cause as well as the symptoms. Of course a common problem causing recurrent depression is mistaking a short term fix for something more substantial, so people need to be careful to make sure they correctly identify that when it is in danger of happening.
- nailer 10y ago> no job in a developed country can be described as "hell" I know it's fashionable to look down on ourselves, but sleep deprivation is used as a torture device. I and many others have been in a position where we had to undergo it in order to pay our rent.
- OJFord 10y ago> no job in a developed country can be described as "hell" Telling a depressed person that they've really no right to be is, however true, certainly not going to help.
- ejfox 10y agoThis is advice for sadness, not depression. This is the opening quote in the article: "Sadness is when you feel down because things aren’t going your way. Depression is when you feel down even when all is going well." Depression may be affected by real life problems but it is more life-enveloping than that. I've been the most depressed at times in my life when things were going objectively great. The people who asked "what's making you sad?" or tried to "fix" my "problems" were the least helpful.
- sixo 10y agoThese terms are tricky. I wrote the above because I wish a message like that had gotten through to me (probably just saying it isn't sufficient) at any point in the ~half my life so far where I was, according to this terminology, sad by some circumstance like the above, but also depressed basically I think as a result of being sad and basically having surrendered to it as an inevitable thing: life was by any reasonable measure going well, but I was never happy with it. Some of the above examples reflect my experience, some the experiences of other depressed people I've known. Likely this does not apply to all (maybe most) cases of depression, maybe it wouldn't have helped mine. But I basically feel now, with most of it behind me - I hope - that I never really realized that these sorts of problems could be addressed, or felt ashamed of being unhappy with my situation and therefore decided they didn't deserve to be fixed.
- mkagenius 10y agoThat quote seemed wrong, the parent comment actually tries to make that correct. > The people who asked "what's making you sad?" or tried to "fix" my "problems" were the least helpful. That's why parent comment says to seek professional help. I believe they wouldn't ask or say those things.
- Alex3917 10y ago> "Sadness is when you feel down because things aren’t going your way. Depression is when you feel down even when all is going well." Sadness is the feeling you get when something bad happens and you are upset about it. Depression is the feeling you get from brain inflammation, which might feel qualitatively similar to sadness, but which is usually caused by one or more of: chronic stress, lack of exercise, nutritional deficiency, poor sleep habits, lack of sensory stimulation, infection, or twenty other things. Once you can differentiate between them, depression isn't actually that hard to fix, at least at the early stages. It's like right now if I were to gain five pounds I'd get acid reflux, but I know that, so if that starts happening I just stop eating as much for a couple days and the problem fixes itself. Same deal with mental states.
- EGreg 10y agoWhat do you guys think is the point of all our activities if people eventually die? Most mainstream Judaeo-Christian postulates the immortality of the soul. But it seems to come up against mainstream history and science. Hasn't anyone here felt these existential questions? Even if you accomplish so much, in the end you can't even answer basic questions about the meaning of it all. You can consile yourself with the idea that this is all there is. But it seems like when you go, it goes back to how it was before you were born. All this knowledge you've accumulated and even more, your continued day-to-day consciousness, it seems this world exists only because you do. It just seems like such a waste if this was all there was. And consciousness is really amazing, it is at the root of it all. This isn't exactly depression but an awareness that while the world might go on, you will not always be around to experience it. And everything you do will eventually fade away. Against that cosmic backdrop, one can conclude that doing something is pretty much like not doing it. That fun party you went to at 17, that sex you had at 28, what trace has it left? So why do the same job day after day? Only because you love it.
- nicky0 10y agoThere is no point to any of it, and its beautiful. I'm thankful that I'm going to eventually turn to dust and be forgotten. It's such a relief.
- ssully 10y agoThere is something very Douglas Adams about your response and I absolutely love it.
- mack73 10y agoI mean, sure, for a religious person touching base with God or exploring existential questions might be fruitful but for a non-believer, focusing on these large questions while being in a depression is not your way out of it, because those questions are too grand. A quite healthy person might end up in a depression dwelling on unsolvable mysteries for too long. If you find yourself in a depression, your thoughts constantly searching for answers to questions about the universe and why we are here, try to do something more akin to what the person in TFA tell about: create. Your real problem is certainly not that you don't have those answers, it's something else.
- nicky0 10y agoThis is probably the worst advice about depression I have ever read. "Spend time thinking about how to fix your problems" is about the last thing someone with depression needs to be told.
- sixo 10y agoSorry. I tried to be careful to say 'see if it's this' - I think people who have spent time depressed either completely agree with what I've said, or completely disagree. Probably there's two distinct things we're calling depression.
- angry-hacker 10y agoSomeone with psychiatric history bigger than bible I say it's not a bad advice. People are nowadays oversensitive, you don't need ta apologize front and backwards for anyone who might feel offended. But your advice works if people have support network, it's tough alone. And when you realize doctors diagnose everyone out of their ass, you get more depressed. After 10 minutes she claims you lack serotonin. On what bases? I even don't know what to say, life is bullshit but stop with being so sensitive, even if you're wrong, dsm and all your doctors use as much as real science than your average hn commenter.
- TillE 10y ago> Probably there's two distinct things we're calling depression. If you haven't been formally diagnosed, please for the love of god stop talking about "depression". You have no idea what it actually is.
- sixo 10y agoOn the one hand, there's the formal monopoly on the term that you cite. On the other, one is constantly reminded that "millions of Americans..." have undiagnosed cases of this thing. If not depression, what do I call this condition that grounded me for a decade, and did the same to many people I've known for comparable periods? Getting out of the house to get a formal diagnose wasn't even possible. It may be that I have no idea what it actually is. In that case I'd like to communicate with whoever is in a state like the one I was in, but I don't know what to call them. "Being depressed?"
- komali2 10y agoI completely disagree with you. I believe you are describing solutions to problems that can make someone sad or frustrated, which is a fine thing. I'm all about being real about your life situation and doing something about it. However, depression is a disease independent of external factors. I had it when I had arguably one of the coolest jobs in my life up until that point. I treated it with medication, got out of the slump, and applied techniques to stave it away. Those techniques are what you called "short term solutions." I think of them as long-term preventative measures to stave off the chemical imbalance that can cause depression. Regular exercise keeps up your serotonin and endorphin levels, as well as helps you maintain a healthy body-image. Interacting with people, also increases serotonin and endorphin levels, and ensures you don't feel lonely. Engaging creatively keeps your brain active and, you guessed it, increases serotonin and endorphin levels, as well as distracts from the "why do I bother" feeling, aka, gives you a "reason." One of the most important lessons I ever learned when I had a shit job. I kept thinking "if I just get a better job, then I'll be happy." Then I realized how much it would suck if my internal happiness depended totally upon externalities - who's to say a good job is the "best" job? If I adopt that mindset I'll always be chasing the carrot on the stick. The important thing is to do what is necessary to be happy no matter what, and then focus on the externalities (the "problems" you describe).
- spangry 10y agoI think the observations in your last paragraph are very wise. I've recently begun to wonder if pursuing 'happiness' is even a useful goal. I'm not really sure what 'happiness' is, or whether it exists. In the past, I have conflated transitory 'ups' in my life, caused by external factors, with sustainable and lasting happiness. When those external factors change, as they always do, it never seems to end well. But it's such a difficult thing to avoid; even being aware of all of this I'm pretty sure I'm going to fall in to this same trap at some point in the future.
- komali2 10y agoHappiness for me can be just as much reflecting on the awesome things that have happened to me in the past, and where I am now, as much as it can be looking forward to the future. I don't think there's something wrong with setting "happiness" as a goal - I think the important thing is separating that goal from other ones. So not attaching "achieving happiness" to "when I get a raise," instead just looking at internal things you can do to "be happy" in whatever situation. But exercise, good diet, and not being in a stressful situation does help.
- lobotryas 10y agoExcellent post and list. I would only add to that: "Am I with a partner that I want to be with?" or just "Am I overall happy with my partner?". If the answer is more "No" than "Yes" then you need to figure out the specifics of why that is and either have a long conversation with your partner or find a new one. Remember: you can't change your partner, but if your requests are reasonable and they truly care about you, then they can change themselves.
- rdlecler1 10y agoI disagree. Depression is like being caught in a loop. You need to find a way to break out of that by introducing something new. Creating something can give you at least a small sense of purpose and at least from my own experience I depression has emerged when I start to lose that sense of purpose.
- ars 10y ago> When you are depressed, see if there's a serious problem in your life that is causing you to be depressed You are under the common delusion that depression is caused by something in a person's life/environment. This is NOT TRUE! Depression is often caused by nothing whatsoever. Someone is simply depressed with absolutely no reason at all. Depression that is caused by something is not strictly depression, it is a semi-normal response to difficultly and people will automatically fight to try to make life better - you don't have to tell them to do that. (The problem comes when they aren't able, or don't know how, to fix things.) Depression is caused by nothing. The brain is just not working right. You just have to wait it out, learn coping methods, sometimes drugs, or sometimes you may be able to do a physical activity that gets the brain working right again. If you can internalize that depression is not caused by circumstance you will go a long way toward understanding people with depression.
- whenwillitstop 10y agoRight but your assertion here is completely unfounded. It is a theory. Quantifying that nothing in someones life (or their past) is causing them depression is near impossible. This charade is completely scientifically unprovable. Edit: changed the word sadness to depression.
- ars 10y agoNo, it is a fact. If you actually spoke to people with depression you would know that. > Quantifying that nothing in someones life (or their past) is causing them sadness I didn't say sadness, I said depression. They are not the same. > This charade Wow. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you've never experienced depression, and don't know anyone with it. If that should change you'll quickly realize just how mistaken you were, and you'll feel bad for ever saying things like this. To put it in context: It's like telling someone blind who still has physical eyes "You can see, stop pretending."
- whenwillitstop 10y agoBecause peoples interpretations of the situation are believable enough to call fact. Subjective interpretations are not reality. If you think they are then we dont have much to argue here. I have experienced depression for most of my adult life.
- lukaa 10y agoRenowned clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson said that if someone tell him that he is depressed he always ask them 5 questions: 1.Do you have a job? 2.Do you have a friend? 3.Do you have a romantic partner? 4.Do you have a serious physical illness? 5.Do you have a addiction? and if you answer on 3 of 5 with yes he can't help you because something of that problems will always again bring you down so first you should solve that problems. So external factors really matter a lot. Here is related video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c3m0tt5KcE&t=44m44s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c3m0tt5KcE&t=44m44s