I think if you boil you definition of love down to "doing what is best for the other, regardless of consequences to self", then some of the conflict would disap

I think if you boil you definition of love down to "doing what is best for the other, regardless of consequences to self", then some of the conflict would disappear (obviously not all). I suspect that a large portion of the conflict between people who "love" each other is because one wants the other to be different.