3 ms·
At the risk of becoming a target for abuse, one of the big breakthroughs I had in therapy was connecting with a therapist who was able to use attachment theory
by Nrsolis 10y ago
At the risk of becoming a target for abuse, one of the big breakthroughs I had in therapy was connecting with a therapist who was able to use attachment theory to help me understand my feelings and emotions in the context of romantic relationships.
As a child, I lost my mother to cancer and my father was alternatively abusive or absent. I carried those scars forward into adulthood.
Therapy grounded partly in attachment theory helped me and I'm glad to see it gaining ground as a useful tool to help people.
- Domenic_S 10y agoI'm glad that worked for you. I heard somewhere in my teens a doctor who said essentially that we spend our adult lives trying to recreate our childhood relationships and if we find our adult relationships lacking, that connection is the first place to investigate.
- mrec 10y agoI'm curious - why were you worried that this comment might make you a target for abuse?
- tutufan 10y agoThere's certainly plenty of abuse posted in response to comments here.
- Nrsolis 10y agoTo admit any weakness in terms of mental hygiene is taboo. Even today. It's forever an invitation for others to question your actions/moods/beliefs as somehow entirely subject to past injury or affliction. We link personality with mind as a society. Admitting to a sickness of the mind is a prelude to admitting to a sickness of personality. I take great pains to manage my illness and practice good hygiene. It's more upkeep for me than maybe for others and I'm forever going to shoulder this burden. I have good days and bad days. Part of the therapy is learning how to distinguish the actions I take because of past feelings from those sourced from my true self. It's not always easy.
- mr_spothawk 10y agoThanks for saying this. In the past two years, the best money I've spent has been A) therapy focused on "mindfulness" and attachment theory & B) supporting myself (instead of working for a paycheck) in order to find compelling work. Those two things are about equal (today) in terms of money spent, but the former added up much more slowly than the latter. I'd add, I think the word "mindfulness" is awful and over-hyped. But when the definition of Mindfulness is "judgement free situational awareness", I find that it's a compelling and incredibly helpful practice. One other thing, I strapped myself into a 'brainwave game' the other day at some science museum. My mindfulness practice typically starts with feeling the bottoms of my feet in my shoes, or the socks bunching up between my toes and the ball of my foot. The data coming out of the brainwave exhibit was displayed on a monitor & moved a ball across a table (magnets?). Immediately after beginning to focus on my feet, the ball shot across the table & the output on the monitor shot to its highest level & stayed there. I didn't see anybody else with the ability to do this while I watched other folks use the exhibit. So that was cool... but I don't know if that qualifies A as money well spent or not ;)
- lobotryas 10y agoI'd love to hear more about these two things you've done for yourself. Is there a way we can get in touch?
- mr_spothawk 10y agosure, I put an email in my profile. eager to hear from you. hit me up :)