4 ms·

I'd argue that there's a third option: adoption. There are children who have already been born, and are subject to the burden of existence. Instead of creatin

• mistermann 10y ago
  People only want non-damaged goods kids, and I don't think there are many of those available for adoption are there?
  • biofox 10y ago
    Unfortunately, you're probably right. I was mainly trying to point out that it's not a binary choice.
  • pavel_lishin 10y ago
    It likely depends on their age; people do give up babies for adoption.
• taneq 10y ago
  Whenever the pros and cons of parenthood are raised, someone always mentions adoption. Adoption or fostering is definitely an option for some, but I don't just want random kids, I want my own kids. My reasoning is that if I'm going to pour a large proportion of my energy into a small human for a couple of decades, I want to give that small human every chance to succeed. Assuming that all 'nurture' factors would remain equal, the only other thing I can give them is my and my partner's genes. If I believe that we both have higher genetic potential than a randomly selected human then it makes sense to ensure that our children have those genes.
  • biofox 10y ago
    I agree, it's not for all. I think the preference comes down to the weightings individuals assign to: the importance of propagating their values vs their genes; and the value of existing humans vs potential humans.
  • pavel_lishin 10y ago
    > I want my own kids. > If I believe that we both have higher genetic potential than a randomly selected human then it makes sense to ensure that our children have those genes. Do you believe that? Isn't it kind of like everyone believing they're above average?
    • taneq 10y ago
      Based on my own performance (professional and otherwise) and generally robust good health, yes, I do believe it. The fact that (nearly) everyone else believes they're above average doesn't affect the veracity of my belief.
      • AnimalMuppet 10y ago
        Neither does the fact that you believe it. And the fact that everyone else believes it means that such belief should be viewed as not automatically correct.
• hvs 10y ago
  As the father of an adopted child, I hesitate to encourage it. Adopting a child includes a number of additional challenges that having a child by birth does not. It is not for everyone, especially people that are already hesitant to have children. Conversely, don't do it because you want to "save a child", either. The child will never feel "saved" and you will just become resentful. Adoption is a mutual process of attaching to and being attached to by a child that most likely has already had a fair amount of trauma in their life. It is ultimately worth it, but it is different (and also similar) in many ways to traditional parenting.