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I'd argue he does care but isn't financially hurt. Being chastised by your peers isn't any less significant when you're rich.

existencebox 10y ago
As someone who has climbed the income ladder significantly, I'd beg to differ. My ability to laugh off chastisement has correlated very directly with my financial stability. In fact I'd say the converse seems more likely, in that for someone without financial capital, social capital is all one has, whereas financial capital can certainly supplement or purchase a lack of social capital in many domains.
- Waterluvian 10y ago
  Do you mean that you have room to make mistakes and embarassments or that you can be a bit of an unlikable but highly productive person? This sounds like an insult any way I write it but I think you know what I mean. Nobody likes the drill sergeant, but he saves your life.
  - existencebox 10y ago
    No worries about sounding as an insult, I wasn't particularly clear in parent comment, see my sister post for more details, but I primarily intended the first of your two interpretations. Sometimes the latter comes in use too (often as allowed by the former) but it's something to use very sparingly.
- invisible 10y ago
  Not targeting you intentionally but that feels like a really screwed up condition. I hope I either misinterpreted that or that is just an anecdote. If a large group of your peers disapprove of your actions and you don't care, why are you involved with those people at all? What makes you go to work?
  - existencebox 10y ago
    To address this and the sister comment; there are a few subtleties in this that I clearly didn't express well, the mindset is more one of "everything in moderation" than just ignoring criticism. I mostly meant to emphasize memories of e.g. in university, where I had a professor I really looked up to absolutely _gut_ me about some work I had previously been rather proud of. That hit me like a bag of bricks, and I was in a funk for days after. (at that point, that professor was one of the few allies I had at school so I felt entirely adrift.) Since I've gotten a job, shown competencies over the years in delivering concrete projects, built up financial stability, I've found myself less reliant on the purely social arenas that I was leaning on when first entering the workforce. If someone says something negative, of course I'll give it thought and see if there are any truths in it that I should change my behavior around. But regardless of the answer to that question, I need to be able to move forward in a positive tone, and letting the chastisement "get me down" isn't going to accomplish that. (what I meant by "laugh it off"; in the, even if I was wrong sense, "Oh I've fucked up, better get on fixing that") In less of a ramble, I've diversified my career stability, so I'm just less concerned about any particular screw-up. How I redress screwups is entirely a separate question.

existencebox 10y ago

As someone who has climbed the income ladder significantly, I'd beg to differ. My ability to laugh off chastisement has correlated very directly with my financial stability. In fact I'd say the converse seems more likely, in that for someone without financial capital, social capital is all one has, whereas financial capital can certainly supplement or purchase a lack of social capital in many domains.

Waterluvian 10y ago
Do you mean that you have room to make mistakes and embarassments or that you can be a bit of an unlikable but highly productive person? This sounds like an insult any way I write it but I think you know what I mean. Nobody likes the drill sergeant, but he saves your life.
- existencebox 10y ago
  No worries about sounding as an insult, I wasn't particularly clear in parent comment, see my sister post for more details, but I primarily intended the first of your two interpretations. Sometimes the latter comes in use too (often as allowed by the former) but it's something to use very sparingly.
invisible 10y ago
Not targeting you intentionally but that feels like a really screwed up condition. I hope I either misinterpreted that or that is just an anecdote. If a large group of your peers disapprove of your actions and you don't care, why are you involved with those people at all? What makes you go to work?
- existencebox 10y ago
  To address this and the sister comment; there are a few subtleties in this that I clearly didn't express well, the mindset is more one of "everything in moderation" than just ignoring criticism. I mostly meant to emphasize memories of e.g. in university, where I had a professor I really looked up to absolutely _gut_ me about some work I had previously been rather proud of. That hit me like a bag of bricks, and I was in a funk for days after. (at that point, that professor was one of the few allies I had at school so I felt entirely adrift.) Since I've gotten a job, shown competencies over the years in delivering concrete projects, built up financial stability, I've found myself less reliant on the purely social arenas that I was leaning on when first entering the workforce. If someone says something negative, of course I'll give it thought and see if there are any truths in it that I should change my behavior around. But regardless of the answer to that question, I need to be able to move forward in a positive tone, and letting the chastisement "get me down" isn't going to accomplish that. (what I meant by "laugh it off"; in the, even if I was wrong sense, "Oh I've fucked up, better get on fixing that") In less of a ramble, I've diversified my career stability, so I'm just less concerned about any particular screw-up. How I redress screwups is entirely a separate question.