The nuanced difference between avoiding small talk and pursuing deeper conversations is quite significant since telling people to avoid superficial talk usually

The nuanced difference between avoiding small talk and pursuing deeper conversations is quite significant since telling people to avoid superficial talk usually leads to the misunderstanding of the value of such. Starting out with a topical interaction is often the easiest way to establish a relationship and one can become quite close despite restricting each other to serious topics. But, there will always be a serious limit to how far you can go with just that. It is quite difficult to call someone a friend if you never shared something personal and trivia, but it works well if your aim is to stop at a working relationship with that colleague. And don't forget that the 7th point is about the general approach to socializing or life rather than specific gatherings only, hence my broad descriptions. >I'm about 100x as likely to have a serious conversation at a hacker meetup as a random night at the bar. That is actually not a valid comparison. If you meet with someone of some common interest in a bar there's little preventing you from having a serious debate. You just need to seek out a location that allows you to converse comfortably.