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I find this is only a problem for people who don't understand what asynchronous communication is. Explaining this ahead of time should clear up any anxieties on

by mnm1 10y ago

I find this is only a problem for people who don't understand what asynchronous communication is. Explaining this ahead of time should clear up any anxieties on both ends.

MR4D 10y ago
I can see your point, but then it wouldn't be instant. Further, I think the dopamine high that people get from responding to IMs significantly outweighs their ability for self control to read messages later. This is easily confirmed by looking at drivers texting on their phones.
- mnm1 10y ago
  As far as I know, "instant" refers to the delivery of messages, not actual processing by humans.
  - mercer 10y ago
    It seems most humans around me have missed that memo. I find that a quick response is the expectation once the 'message read' indicator is on.
  - coldtea 10y ago
    The possibility of an instant response (as provided by the processing) makes it also desirable from those waiting for one. Technology is not passive -- it influences expectations.
    - mnm1 10y ago
      Technology influences expectations but we can choose not to be a slave to it. Also, if an instant response is desired, the other party is using the wrong technology. For instant response, people can call using a telephone (or app) like people have been doing for over a hundred years and verify that the other person is available before building up unrealistic expectations. After all, what kind of friend (or especially acquaintance) expects you to drop whatever you're doing to respond to them? Even my family doesn't expect that unless it's a true emergency. Only an arrogant and narcissistic person who doesn't understand the idea of work or prior commitments would do that. Needless to say, such people are not my friends.
      - coldtea 10y ago
        >Technology influences expectations but we can choose not to be a slave to it Only at the personal level. We can't easily control what others chose, and this thread is all about what others expect from IM (instant responses).
        mnm1 10y ago
        Sure, but we can control who we choose to spend time with and who we choose to ignore. The thread is actually about the author who cannot control himself and doesn't know how to even begin to talk to others about his problems with instant messaging. There are many things the author can do, most of which I've pointed out already. Just because we can't control others does not mean we're powerless. Nor does it mean we have to bow down to others' standards and demands for how to lead our lives. Isn't that what personal freedom is about?

by mnm1 10y ago

I find this is only a problem for people who don't understand what asynchronous communication is. Explaining this ahead of time should clear up any anxieties on both ends.

MR4D 10y ago

I can see your point, but then it wouldn't be instant. Further, I think the dopamine high that people get from responding to IMs significantly outweighs their ability for self control to read messages later. This is easily confirmed by looking at drivers texting on their phones.

mnm1 10y ago
As far as I know, "instant" refers to the delivery of messages, not actual processing by humans.
- mercer 10y ago
  It seems most humans around me have missed that memo. I find that a quick response is the expectation once the 'message read' indicator is on.
- coldtea 10y ago
  The possibility of an instant response (as provided by the processing) makes it also desirable from those waiting for one. Technology is not passive -- it influences expectations.
  - mnm1 10y ago
    Technology influences expectations but we can choose not to be a slave to it. Also, if an instant response is desired, the other party is using the wrong technology. For instant response, people can call using a telephone (or app) like people have been doing for over a hundred years and verify that the other person is available before building up unrealistic expectations. After all, what kind of friend (or especially acquaintance) expects you to drop whatever you're doing to respond to them? Even my family doesn't expect that unless it's a true emergency. Only an arrogant and narcissistic person who doesn't understand the idea of work or prior commitments would do that. Needless to say, such people are not my friends.
    - coldtea 10y ago
      >Technology influences expectations but we can choose not to be a slave to it Only at the personal level. We can't easily control what others chose, and this thread is all about what others expect from IM (instant responses).
      - mnm1 10y ago
        Sure, but we can control who we choose to spend time with and who we choose to ignore. The thread is actually about the author who cannot control himself and doesn't know how to even begin to talk to others about his problems with instant messaging. There are many things the author can do, most of which I've pointed out already. Just because we can't control others does not mean we're powerless. Nor does it mean we have to bow down to others' standards and demands for how to lead our lives. Isn't that what personal freedom is about?