For someone who is completely new to programming, "statically-typed, compiled, run on the JVM" means about as much as "made-of-whale-bones, faster-than-light, a

For someone who is completely new to programming, "statically-typed, compiled, run on the JVM" means about as much as "made-of-whale-bones, faster-than-light, and eleven-pounds-to-the-dollar". Just a thought, as long as we're still talking about telling new programmers where to start.