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> But there are no traditions > for how a North American woman > in the 21st century mourns her partner. In many Asian cultures, we mourn for those who have

> But there are no traditions > for how a North American woman > in the 21st century mourns her partner. In many Asian cultures, we mourn for those who have passed for about 2 weeks. Then again 49 days later, and after that at least 3 a year (once on the anniversary of their death, another during the Tomb Sweeping Day [1], and another during the Lunar New Year.) I feel with all these rituals, where family and friends will get together several times a year, it really does help the grieving process. I also think this might be the biggest difference between collectivist vs individualistic societies. Where in collectivist societies, family and friends might sometimes feel overbearing because they involve themselves even in the tiniest details of your lives can be a lifesaver during times of extreme grief. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qingming_Festival https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qingming_Festival

beagle3 10y ago
Jewish Shiva[0] (not to be confused with the Hindu Shiva) is very effective at giving mourners a tradition to follow on one hand, and helping/forcing them to stay on their feet during the first few days. It is observed by the most secular of Jews, I assume because it fills the need of "what do we do now?" which is especially prevalent at those times. Additionally, there are traditional longer term mourning customs not cut hair/shave for 30 days, no celebrations for 3 months or 12 months depending whether the lost one is child/sibling or brother, erecting a tombstone no less than 30 days but no later than 1 year after passing, and additional prayers for those who pray. These, however, are practiced to much more varying degrees - none or almost none by the anti-religious secular, to lesser degree by most people, and religiously by religious people. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva_%28Judaism%29 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva_%28Judaism%29
deleted 10y ago
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beagle3 10y ago

Jewish Shiva[0] (not to be confused with the Hindu Shiva) is very effective at giving mourners a tradition to follow on one hand, and helping/forcing them to stay on their feet during the first few days. It is observed by the most secular of Jews, I assume because it fills the need of "what do we do now?" which is especially prevalent at those times. Additionally, there are traditional longer term mourning customs not cut hair/shave for 30 days, no celebrations for 3 months or 12 months depending whether the lost one is child/sibling or brother, erecting a tombstone no less than 30 days but no later than 1 year after passing, and additional prayers for those who pray. These, however, are practiced to much more varying degrees - none or almost none by the anti-religious secular, to lesser degree by most people, and religiously by religious people. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva_%28Judaism%29 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva_%28Judaism%29

deleted 10y ago

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