5 ms·
> I must be going to the wrong bars. Very likely. There are bars where people go to be alone; bars were people go in a group to stay purely within their group;
by wott 10y ago
> I must be going to the wrong bars.
Very likely. There are bars where people go to be alone; bars were people go in a group to stay purely within their group; bars where people go to meet between regulars and are closed to newcomers; bars where people are opened to anyone, regulars or 5-minute newcomer; etc.
The most classy, and also often the most hyped ones are the coldest ones. The most popular are often the warmest... providing that you manage to get into the 'family' circle if it is a matter of regulars/locals; or that you belong to the same scene if it is a subculture oriented place.
And it also depends also on you. And not necessarily as you expect. I am amongst the most introverted, shy, less talkative persons ever, and yet bartenders and regulars generally great me by calling my name on my 2nd or 3rd visit in a bar while some mates who've been coming to the same place dozens of times in are given the cold shoulder (I have plenty of examples like this, it was quite funny sometimes to see how upset by the situation my mate was :-).
- skybrian 10y agoHow would you explain your good luck? Do you think it will work for other people?
- karmelapple 10y agoI don't know the parent commenter, but I am confident he or she would not characterize that as luck. Here's a book that can help you stop thinking it has anything to do with luck: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships [1] [1] https://amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/007141858X https://amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/...
- Frondo 10y agoI would also add, if getting-to-know-you conversation is difficult for you, memorize a list of about 10 basic questions (do you have any siblings, did you grow up here, what's something you really enjoyed about the last year, etc). Ask people these and be ready to share your answers, and it'll become pretty clear when someone wants to be your friend. I too have made friends with strangers I've met in bars, as well as with servers and bartenders at places I've been a regular.
- woogiewonka 10y agoThis makes me sad because I don't go to bars. Not sure what to do when I don't drink. Shy as fuck too, sucks.
- ktRolster 10y agohttps://www.meetup.com/ https://www.meetup.com/
- kbart 10y agoYou don't have to drink alcohol at bar. I have plenty of friends who don't consume alcohol, but have no problems going out and order non-alcoholic cocktail, juice, tea etc. Sure, it depends on a place a lot -- there are places where people go to chat and meet new people and there are places where people go to drink until passing out, so find the one that suits you..
- cmdrfred 10y agoI don't often drink, maybe twice a year and I've been given the advice you just gave the previous poster. The truth is drunk people are insufferable while sober I don't recommend anyone do this.
- kbart 10y agoWell, as I said, it depends on a place. I usually go to places where people are going to play board games, pool, foosball etc. while getting few beers, not drink themselves unconsciously.
- cmdrfred 10y agoTo each their own of course, but I find even mildly impaired people annoying. You don't realize how much an effect a few beers can have alcohol is deceptive that way, that's why you see people down a bottle of vodka and get behind the wheel. They honestly believe that they are fine to drive. A tip if you do decide to try this advice, don't let anyone know you aren't drinking. Not only will you often get accosted "Come on buddy just one!", but at the end of the night you will often be pressured to become some sort of unpaid Uber.