I agree. no one has a problem with how i dress. it isn't brought up in a "fix this" sort of way. it is brought up in a "oh look, another new ninja turtles shirt

I agree. no one has a problem with how i dress. it isn't brought up in a "fix this" sort of way. it is brought up in a "oh look, another new ninja turtles shirt" way. My clothing choices aren't inappropriate, but many of my coworkers prefer dressing more formal, which makes me stand out. I don't view it as teasing of any sort so I'm ok with it... but I'm aware that other people might be hurt by being called a poor dresser. And I would agree with that about the spectrum. My point was more that the only issue arises when someone doesn't realize they are being offensive: Trying to be offensive -> clear violation -> handle it. Recipient speaks up -> clear violation -> handle it. Trying to be playful, recipient offended but doesn't speak up -> unclear that it is in fact a violation -> may wind up unhandled resulting in issues. Trying to be playful and everyone gets along -> no violation If you're trying to be playful and the recipient doesn't respond well, they shouldn't have to speak up to end it. So if you cant read someone, the "dont keep pushing it" is a good default to have, but if its apparent everyone is having a good time, no biggie.