4 ms·

I think they way you know it's "almost never teasing" is that these people are not friends, they are co-workers.

mistermann 10y ago
I don't mean offense, but this comment seems completely insane to me - you are saying that in the majority of cases, anything insulting said among coworkers is meant as an insult rather than good-natured ribbing? I look at the world today and despite an absolutely massive improvement in acceptance of diversity, many so called minorities seem to think things are even worse. It makes me wonder if there is some sort of cultural misunderstanding in play here, whereby "people of color" (I despise that term) have finally achieved pure acceptance to the degree that people feel completely comfortable with them enough to not walk on eggshells in their speech, cultural harmony has finally been completely achieved, but then the informality of speech between close friends is mistakenly taken as an insult, the reaction is holy shit what a bitch, and we're back to where we started. Somewhat naive, of course. Completely wrong - I doubt it.
- rayiner 10y ago
  Coworkers are not friends as a general rule. You get to choose your friends--you don't get to choose your conworkers. As a consequence, the inter-coworker relationship is a highly artificial and delicate one. Good natured ribbing has no place in it.
  - markdog12 10y ago
    Yet good natured ribbing between co-workers happens all the time. And many co-workers like each other and became good friends.
    - tptacek 10y ago
      And many don't, but are provided with no effective way to avoid it. I'm not sure what your argument is here.
  - pen2l 10y ago
    > You get to choose your friends--you don't get to choose your conworkers. I don't like that you say this. For us introverted folks, that's the only way some of us meet. This is, in a way, questioning the sincerity of my friendship with my coworker... with whom I'm now connected with pretty intimately. I know I became close with this person because I was forced to be with her 7 hours a day every weekday for 3 years. No way I would have become so connected were it not for this weird scenario. And besides, when choosing friends myself I'm probably going to find like-minded people... life is more exciting the other way... and that's more likely to happen when relationships are made without your choice.
    - tptacek 10y ago
      Nobody is saying you can't befriend your coworkers. They're saying that you can't presume friendship with coworkers as an excuse to treat them unprofessionally.

I don't mean offense, but this comment seems completely insane to me - you are saying that in the majority of cases, anything insulting said among coworkers is meant as an insult rather than good-natured ribbing? I look at the world today and despite an absolutely massive improvement in acceptance of diversity, many so called minorities seem to think things are even worse. It makes me wonder if there is some sort of cultural misunderstanding in play here, whereby "people of color" (I despise that term) have finally achieved pure acceptance to the degree that people feel completely comfortable with them enough to not walk on eggshells in their speech, cultural harmony has finally been completely achieved, but then the informality of speech between close friends is mistakenly taken as an insult, the reaction is holy shit what a bitch, and we're back to where we started. Somewhat naive, of course. Completely wrong - I doubt it.

rayiner 10y ago
Coworkers are not friends as a general rule. You get to choose your friends--you don't get to choose your conworkers. As a consequence, the inter-coworker relationship is a highly artificial and delicate one. Good natured ribbing has no place in it.
- markdog12 10y ago
  Yet good natured ribbing between co-workers happens all the time. And many co-workers like each other and became good friends.
  - tptacek 10y ago
    And many don't, but are provided with no effective way to avoid it. I'm not sure what your argument is here.
- pen2l 10y ago
  > You get to choose your friends--you don't get to choose your conworkers. I don't like that you say this. For us introverted folks, that's the only way some of us meet. This is, in a way, questioning the sincerity of my friendship with my coworker... with whom I'm now connected with pretty intimately. I know I became close with this person because I was forced to be with her 7 hours a day every weekday for 3 years. No way I would have become so connected were it not for this weird scenario. And besides, when choosing friends myself I'm probably going to find like-minded people... life is more exciting the other way... and that's more likely to happen when relationships are made without your choice.
  - tptacek 10y ago
    Nobody is saying you can't befriend your coworkers. They're saying that you can't presume friendship with coworkers as an excuse to treat them unprofessionally.