3 ms·

However, a group of other male coworkers who resented the attention I received started directing inappropriate and misogynistic remarks towards me. That statem

by e40 10y ago

However, a group of other male coworkers who resented the attention I received started directing inappropriate and misogynistic remarks towards me. That statement totally reminds me of accounts I've read of conservatives and how they feel about minorities get special treatment. I just find it really interesting that groups in power react this way while they are still in power. It's a very, very foreign thing to me and I don't understand the source of it, but there is very clearly a common thread of this running through our world right now.

edblarney 10y ago
It would not be foreign to you if it happened to you directly. It's not entirely unreasonable that a loser manager fawns over a hot girl on the team, and gets special favours. It happens all the time with gender removed - i.e. the 'suck up' gets the treats. And more perniciously - it's entirely possible the guys may have a legit point (I'm not implying they do, but indicating that it's a possibility), though obviously not expressed well. People are crazy. My ex girlfriend got a job working in Montreal, for a 'vaping' company, working in the back. She's drop dead hot. I told her - there is absolutely no way they are going to keep her in the office, she'll be promoted to sales instantly. She did not believe me, but I was right. Within a a few weeks she was outside-sales. The management there is kind of greasy, like guidos at a sweaty gym. They fawned over her, and she definitely had very special status. Favours. The other staff were super jealous. Understandably so. Anyhow, it never came to lawsuits, but the second I knew she was going to work with those greaseballs, I knew there would be trouble. It's human nature. When gender/race gets involved, we start to apply different words. I just think people should grow the f* up and just behave responsibly, but also to be a little bit tolerant of weird behaviour now and then.
- sctb 10y ago
  It's not up to HN's standards of civility to call names like you have (especially some of those ones), so users were right to flag this comment. The standard is higher in controversial or heated threads, by the way, because incivility in small doses tends to snowball quickly.
  - edblarney 10y ago
    What? In the above post, I used foul language (sorry) - but I didn't call anyone names. ? I was describing a situation in which my ex-girlfriend was given special treatment by some unscrupulous people. When I was referring that people should 'shut the F up and behave' I was in no way referring to the person making claims, I was referring to people who are would-be harassers in general (i.e. 'they should behave'). I didn't call anyone names, I don't think in any of my comments ... I referred to two comments as 'bigoted' - because in my opinion they were. We can't go saying "white men are misogynists" - that's really not fair, I think it's within my right to assert that such comment is bigoted, and I was careful not to refer to the commenter as a bigot - but rather to indicate that the statement itself was. ... in fact, I was provoked ad-hominem quite a few times through this thread. I was told all sorts of things 'about myself' which is I think unfair. I have nothing to say at all about other commenters, or about the people involved in this situation. Anyhow, I'll get off the thread.
dragonwriter 10y ago
> I just find it really interesting that groups in power react this way while they are still in power Individuals tend to do it when they perceive themselves to be in, or in danger of being in, less of a position of power and privilege than they expect. Members of groups that are, or have recently, in positions of relative power have correspondingly higher expectations as a fairly direct result of membership in such a group.

by e40 10y ago

edblarney 10y ago

It would not be foreign to you if it happened to you directly. It's not entirely unreasonable that a loser manager fawns over a hot girl on the team, and gets special favours. It happens all the time with gender removed - i.e. the 'suck up' gets the treats. And more perniciously - it's entirely possible the guys may have a legit point (I'm not implying they do, but indicating that it's a possibility), though obviously not expressed well. People are crazy. My ex girlfriend got a job working in Montreal, for a 'vaping' company, working in the back. She's drop dead hot. I told her - there is absolutely no way they are going to keep her in the office, she'll be promoted to sales instantly. She did not believe me, but I was right. Within a a few weeks she was outside-sales. The management there is kind of greasy, like guidos at a sweaty gym. They fawned over her, and she definitely had very special status. Favours. The other staff were super jealous. Understandably so. Anyhow, it never came to lawsuits, but the second I knew she was going to work with those greaseballs, I knew there would be trouble. It's human nature. When gender/race gets involved, we start to apply different words. I just think people should grow the f* up and just behave responsibly, but also to be a little bit tolerant of weird behaviour now and then.

sctb 10y ago
It's not up to HN's standards of civility to call names like you have (especially some of those ones), so users were right to flag this comment. The standard is higher in controversial or heated threads, by the way, because incivility in small doses tends to snowball quickly.
- edblarney 10y ago
  What? In the above post, I used foul language (sorry) - but I didn't call anyone names. ? I was describing a situation in which my ex-girlfriend was given special treatment by some unscrupulous people. When I was referring that people should 'shut the F up and behave' I was in no way referring to the person making claims, I was referring to people who are would-be harassers in general (i.e. 'they should behave'). I didn't call anyone names, I don't think in any of my comments ... I referred to two comments as 'bigoted' - because in my opinion they were. We can't go saying "white men are misogynists" - that's really not fair, I think it's within my right to assert that such comment is bigoted, and I was careful not to refer to the commenter as a bigot - but rather to indicate that the statement itself was. ... in fact, I was provoked ad-hominem quite a few times through this thread. I was told all sorts of things 'about myself' which is I think unfair. I have nothing to say at all about other commenters, or about the people involved in this situation. Anyhow, I'll get off the thread.

dragonwriter 10y ago

> I just find it really interesting that groups in power react this way while they are still in power Individuals tend to do it when they perceive themselves to be in, or in danger of being in, less of a position of power and privilege than they expect. Members of groups that are, or have recently, in positions of relative power have correspondingly higher expectations as a fairly direct result of membership in such a group.